BelovedChild

2007-11-04T01:37:00.000+08:00

here you go..
http://hismasterpiece.wordpress.com/

2007-09-25T02:53:00.000+08:00

going overseas soon, from 29sept to 13 october! so exciting! hahaha
to china and hongkong, yay.

Thankyou Daddygod!!
haha will be bringing currently still nonexistant computer games along (if johan does bring the games tml during training n if i get to go buy games with larry on wed)
wahaha.

to china for the scenery!
Lord! the beauty of your creations! i cannot wait! (:
to hongkong for the shopping! and relatives. and food!
oh glorious food, thankyou jesus for food! hahahaahah

wheee.
im excited, Daddy (:(:

tho i'll be missing some chalets, trainings n church services.. but Daddy i know i will not be shortchanged! love love (:

oh oh and Daddy thankyou for this friend i have, what a precious one. today is his birthday! bless him alright Daddy! (: (:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MING!!!
I OWE U A MCFLURRY! hahahaha

2007-09-22T23:48:00.000+08:00

oh man, serving for midautumn service today was such a joy.
the packing of mooncakes, meeting new friends, distributing mooncakes.. haha it was awesome.it was tiring for sure, but oh what blessedness!

to be in the midst of the miracles happening, the souls saved.. one word, amazing.
it was so heart warming, hearing about my friends relatives, parents, grandparents, loved ones getting saved. to see the people crowding in front of the stage to recieve christ during the altar call. so precious! (:

i loved the way pastor mark preached during the altar call. it was so romantic!
" will you recieve me? are you willing to spend your life with me? cos i am."
oh mannnn..
this hokkien-mandarin ministry is so blessed! all these old folks, bounded to their wheelchairs, walking sticks etc, finally getting to hear the gospel of grace. the true gospel of grace. to know the one true god, who loves them so much! "here is the good news, Jesus loves you! He loves you, for who you are. He knows everything you have done yet He still loves you" will you love Him back? will you recieve Him and let Him command blessings towards you?
-selah-

what a great harvest of precious precious souls today. Daddygod You are sooo good. i had soooo much fun! thankyouDaddy! :D
(: (:

woo hoo i brought back 7 boxes of extra mooncakes! hahaha :D
looking foward to another touch of Your presence tomorrow Lord! :D

NA SI WA WU JI BA BAAAAAAN...JI BA BAAAAAAN. hahahhaha

2007-09-14T02:29:00.000+08:00

As a counselor and a friend, and especially as a husband, I've been honored to be welcomed into the deep heart of Eve. Often when I am with a woman, I find myself quietly wondering, What is she telling me about God? I know he wants to say something to the world through Eve—what is it? And after years of hearing the heart-cry of women, I am convinced beyond a doubt of this: God wants to be loved. He wants to be a priority to someone. How could we have missed this? From cover to cover, from beginning to end, the cry of God's heart is, 'Why won't you choose me?' It's amazing how humble, how vulnerable God is on this point.'You will . . . find me, says the Lord, 'when you seek me with all your heart.' (Jer. 29:13). In other words, 'Look for me, pursue me—I want you to pursue me.' Amazing. As Tozer says,"God waits to be wanted".

-Wild at Heart; John Eldredge.

2007-09-13T00:20:00.000+08:00

screw the D.

but ok la.

2007-09-11T02:18:00.000+08:00

koped this from multiply

Headlines Sep 10, '07 9:46 AM
for everyone

There's nothing like plastering "CapitaLand, Rock build $660m integrated hub" to really get the day started.

Better still, the first paragraph that begins with "so-and-so and so-and-so... will spend a whopping (emphasis mine) $660 million to develop an integrated civic, cultural, retail, and entertainment hub at Vista Xchange..." is enough to be thankful that:

1. We have a SMART and WISE and SAVVY church management who have the guts, wisdom and discernment to be so ambitious as to garner such massive support from a major property player AND a government body.

~~2. I only need to take a 15-20 minute WALK there when it is ready in 3-4 years' time.~~

3. We're going to make people jealous - because we have a Heavenly Father who is ABLE TO PREPARE and PROVIDE in such a TIMELY MANNER (imagine what other property players are thinking... mwahahah).

4. We are the ANCHOR TENANT, instead of some supermarket or departmental store. Just imagine - a CHURCH being the ANCHOR tenant of a mall! The stronghold that keeps the place running! It's blasphemously thrilling!

5. All but ONE of the media (The Straits Times) did not mention New Creation Church - I predict massive flaming for this. But who cares?!

6. ALL of us who have been serving in the church have played a part in this, offerings or no. And WE are and will be a BLESSING not only to Capitaland and JTC, but to ALL prospective tenants there!

7. Our Heavenly Father is taking the lead in this project. Everything has been so WONDERFULLY mapped out - from exponential congregational growth, the rising number of wealthy people in our midst, the increasing wisdom amongst our leaders, the number of YEARS it took for the business deals to go through before the news was allowed for public consumption :P... and HE GETS ALL THE CREDIT because HE IS GOOD BEYOND ALL LIMITS!!!!!!!

Are you excited?! XD

and this

Wood, it was cold and dead. Yet when i touched it, i sensed familiarity. i was like it, cold and lifeless. then came a Man whose name is Life. He told me about Himself and where He was going. Although He was a Stranger, His words burn within me like a fire and i was consumed. Since then, i followed Him and became like Him.

As i walked, i saw woods along the way and I shared Life with them. they too, were consumed by Life. More and more became like Him and walked along the same way as I did. As they journeyed on, they found woods and shared Life with them too. Nonetheless, some chose to remain just as they were and they never gave themselves the chance to walk along the way. there were also some who fell along the way too.

Yet, Life was gentle and patient with all. He lifted those who fell and strengthened them. Renewed and washed, those that fell stood up strong again and they walked on. However among those who fell, there were some who never gave themselves the chance to walk the way again.

Toward the end of the way, i saw many others who looked just like Life. Then, I took a mirror and looked into it. I tried looking for myself but I found none of me. all that I could see was only Life. A question brewed within me, was it me or was it Him who completed and walked this journey? i searched within me and found an answer within my heart. It says, "Son, We have become one.".

2007-09-10T15:42:00.001+08:00

just tried the piano battle score from secrets just now. haha its not as hard as i thought. needs practise tho. its a shame how poor my sight reading is. tsk. hahah

thankyou Daddygod, these few days were really really awesome. haha.

starting from long long time ago during teachers day when i met my exclass. lovely bunch of people. hahah. oh darn i do miss them alot.
chung cheng is still looking good. went back to the old class room to find the writings we wrote on the fan still there ("dear fan, thankyou for being such a good fan. we love you much much even though you are very dusty and going to drop. love,4dl) HAH.

this is my old locker. haha.thd old CSI,DO NOT PASS sticker is still there. fadedto white tho.

oh, and i swear the lake in chung cheng is turning lime green. gross man. hahaha.

what the school does every year just to make sure the students know. i tell you, that thing is damn freaky when the countdown becomes single digits.

ehhh..well..boys just grow to be older boys.

hah, we like lego. :D

anyway they went for a picnic at east coast after i left. typical, doing all the wierdest stuff. hah, the picnic menu only consisted of sandwiches and juices. quite pathetic really. but i would have loved to spend more time with them. haha
anyway left to watch ratatouille for free with sis n melody's family. that was fun too :D
pretty cool animation.

ANYONE CAN COOK. who wanna try mine? haha, no promises that there wont be stomach ache though. heh.

haha found this pic online. its darn cute
but its not true! haha the next day was the guys squash competition. but went to find the poly cluster playing frisbee. whee. all pictures from jeremy's camera. damn i love his camera.

hui long looked cool here. hahaa

asher and his flying coloured hair. hahaha

nice pic right?i took it! bwahahaha :D :D

nick ethel linda. all so glorious (:

hahaha hello stevenus! :D

im not inside cos this was taken after i left. but man, this is one cool bunch of people!

haha, anyway, met up with the squashies after i left to go safra. heres a piccy of the girls who went! (:
the next day was my squash match which.. i won! yay, praise god! :D

okay i cant really remember what happened after that. so everything is in..random order. haha

heres one, im in the squash competition quarter finals after playing ONE match. hahaha. but thats cos i had two walkovers la. which makes it quite freaky cos i might jus be the lousiest player at this stage now. the next match is..tomorrow.
BUT, jesus u take it la kay. (:
i'll praise You whether i win or not, cos the blessings i see in my life, hah im still overwhelmed by it. take my 5 loaves and 2 fishes and do with it as You will (:

hmm, i went nyp a few days ago to help my sis outin some of her videos thingies. haha. TP's campus is sooo much prettier. yay thankgod. hahaha.
anyway, yongjeeeee was late in reaching to teach me the guitar. hahaha. but he's a good teacher anyway. (:
was going to watch 881 with cousin after that but because cousin was so smart and didnt book the tickets, there were no tickets left. haha but praise god, everything worked out for our good! after trying to check other cinemas for the movie timings but failed to find a good one we went straight for dinner. then ice cream. haha
theres this ice cream place called Tom's Palette at shaw. the ice cream is awesome!
5 star rating from me. haha they have alot of flavours..and strange ones too, such as curry. which is really not as bad as it sounds. theboss n workers are really nice ppl too. MUST TRY! (:

okay what else.
oh im lovin my wacom tablet. haha. ok yes, er, watched no reservations with yongjeee the next day. hah, we were supposed to watch license to we but wasnt showing. oh wells.
no reservations is...okay la. kinda boring. it has its good parts but overall.. go get a vcd. or a pirated one. hah.

wow this is becoming a really long entry. good for you, you've got patience.
hmm. arrow service was really fun, of course. the p&w (praise and worship) was so sooo annointed! :D :D
and dinner was fun. ate this korean thing that i couldnt pronounce. hahaha. yummy tho. oh it was a birthday filled day too! larry xiangling n doctor john su's birthdays! what a blessed day! (: (:

and i have reached to yesterday. yay.
yesterday.. went to safra tampines at 11am for squash but didnt get to play till 1 plus and only finished at 1:45. and i was supposed to go for third service (starts at 2, supposedly). well yeah, i was pretty sure i was gonna miss p&w, which was such a sad sad thing. and all the taxis that passed were all hired! ):
so i was whining to Daddygod.. "Daddy arh, help me get a taxi kay. dont let the service start without me!"
haha amazingly, after a few steps after the prayer, a taxi came! praise god! so i reached suntec at around 2:22 (i checked my watch. hahaha) to see the queue just going in! Praise God! haha pastor was having one of his long sermons again. and Daddy did wait for me.
see, my Daddygod listens. (:
oh pastor announced our new church building! how exciting! haha

looks like a transformer right!!! hahahaha. so funny :D
but man, its gonna be waaaay cool when we move over. it'll damn fun to shop and walk around knowing most ppl are children of God too. so exciting! :D

haha and todaaaaaaay, i woke up at 12 plus. did i tell u my room is renovated? okay my room i renovated. haha so im still getting used to the new bed. its good though, haha praise god.
played squash for most of the day. so fun (: hahaha

so yes. haha
heres something that is a must read for GIRLS!

Every woman was once a little girl. And every little girl holds in her heart her most precious dreams. She longs to be swept up into a romance, to play an irreplaceable role in a great adventure, to be the Beauty of the story. Those desires are far more than child's play. They are the secret to the feminine heart. And yet--how many women do you know who ever find that life? As the years pass by, the heart of a woman gets pushed aside, wounded, buried. She finds no romance except in novels, no adventure except on television, and she doubts very much that she will ever be the Beauty in any tale. Most women think they have to settle for a life of efficiency and duty, chores and errands, striving to be the women they "ought" to be, but often feeling they have failed. Sadly, too many messages for Christian women add to the pressure. "Do these ten things, and you will be a godly woman." The effect has not been good on the feminine soul. But her heart is still there. Sometimes when she watches a movie, sometimes in the wee hours of the night, her heart begins to speak again. A thirst rises within her to find the life she was meant to live--the life she dreamed of as a little girl. The message of Captivating is this: Your heart matters more than anything else in all creation. The desires you had as a little girl and the longings you still feel as a woman--they are telling you of the life God created you to live. He offers to come now as the Hero of your story, to rescue your heart and release you to live as a fully alive and feminine woman.

A woman who is truly captivating

good stuff huh. (:

2007-09-02T02:24:00.001+08:00

I'm thinking of what happened years ago.
Shit.
Bastards.

2007-08-26T23:00:00.000+08:00

spanish food tonight was yummy (:

oh dear lord i cant wait till the end of exams.
then, oh hallelujah, holiday! to freedom! *cheers*

hahaha.
ok i shall rest tonight, i think i had done enough this afternoon in suntec.
tml shall continue to study. thankyou for getting As for my exams, Daddy! hahaha.
in jansen's words, "overpowwah my brain!!". hahaha
the memory of the righteous is blessed, thankyou Daddy!

man i wanna highlight my hair, kenneth promised my free highlight ):
drats. yongjee i need more guitar lessons!

im thinkin, what shall i do after my exams end. icant wait to open my wacom tablet!!
maybe wed i'll jus come home and train for squash since the safra tournament is on sunday. how fun. too bad theres just not enough time. hahaha maybe i'll get malick n elliot to play. :D

thursday..
asher says to go oschool to look at the lyrical hiphop open class. sounds fun, i'll prob consider it.
friday. hm. there caregroup at night so i guess no free tix for ratatouille. but nothing beats caregroup anyway. hahaha. yay jesusssssss

i wanna watch 881, ratatouille, secret and hairspray. thankyou jesus that holidays are coming!

a simple life Daddy! no need the complications!
shavonne let go and let God! dont let the devil steal ur rest! shalom!
Daddy has promised, that He will surely, not maybe, but surely deliver you! why do you fear!
(: (:

Daddy i praise You no matter what happens.

2007-08-23T01:44:00.000+08:00

a few days ago my squash senior asked me whether i was a staunch christian.

hmm, i wonder, what defines a staunch christian?
for me, i just know that He loves me and would never leave me.
it is really quite enough for me. sometimes. haha
i guess when i have my doubts, i would thank god for the commando friends i have around me to turn to.

blessed are those who believes without seeing. (:

2007-08-21T19:23:00.000+08:00

hello study break! (:
had a pretty exciting weekend! haha

my new squash racket. love it! (: (: (:

haha. saturday was fireworks day! watched the fireworks at a restaurant on the 62nd level. awesome food, awesome view.
haha i have to say though, the food was really amazing. foei gras, oyster and yadda for $60+ a person is really rather cheap. and the dessert was... woah. hahaha
its was reaally fun!

enjoying the view!

the usual zi-lianing in the toilet. haha. the hotel's toilet is cool man! each cubicle has its own mirrow, wash basin, basket of towels yadda. hahah

this is PART of the buffet appetisers

what i took. hahaha. i am not greedy!! really..

my main dish! lamb something. hahaha. its really good stuff!

dad likes his steak. haha

and the desserts! woohoo. so yummy! the whole desserts table looked like a display of desserts from some cafe. haha

hehe, i was pretty full... :P

happy parents! (:

fireworks! hahaha. so pretty!
there was alot of smoke though. haha

more pics if you are, er, interested. hahaha. a whole lot more of zi lian pictures XP
http://queenofhisheart.multiply.com/photos/album/27/fireworks_dinner_?replies_read=36

sunday. my favourite day of the week (:
had lunch at kenny rogers! sis's potpie looked interesting. a little too much though. hahaha. macaroni and cheese is still good stuff. (:
service was good! haha.
"when you've lost your perspective/vision, you've lost your reast.. do not wallow in the dust, you are above that! dont let the devil steal your rest. let Daddy love you, let Him be your rest (:"
:D
watched the king and i at esplanade after that. it was really good! haha.

a stolen picture. hehe.the seat was really pretty good.
the acting kids were adorable!! (:

hahaha
watched finished deathnote 1 and 2. *thankyou jansen!*
watched e first on sat and the second on sun. i'm so sad L died! hahaha
actually L cuter than Light la. sorry ming! hahahaha
cos Light is evil ma, i dont like evil people. they are..er.evil. hahah

anyway, i havent started studying. i should though. hahaha.
soon la...soon... (:

if you have read till here, you are either a very patient person or a very bored one. im guesing the latter. hahahaha

hmm i feel a little disconnected from my class. HELLO C170!!! *waves likes a maniac*
okay, im done. (:

2007-08-17T02:34:00.000+08:00

stop hiding already.
does it not hurt?
faking smiles, building walls..
does the bitterness not eat you up?

stop acting already.
the world aint a stage
open up, stop reading those lines..
how long more can you go on?

you are not alone now
theres someone who cares
a life given away
a death upon the cross
nails struck down through his hands
can you not see the blood pouring out
in the form of love..

tear down your defences
let Him catch you as you fall
He wont let you go
for you are now His own

let Him take you home
a place filled with love
no more worries or cares
stop struggling on your own

please stop hurting yourself.
for it hurts Him too..

2007-08-14T01:11:00.000+08:00

i love.

i love how i can call God my Daddy.

i love how He is not this far far God, full of law and rules, but one so so close, full of love and grace

i love how He doesnt put me down for my mistakes, but pull me up from them

i love how i can talk to Him, babble, whine and complain

i love how He hasnt sent a thunderbolt after me, haha.

i love the way He cares, oh how much the way He cares.

i love how He thinks good thoughts of me and how all my past sins are forgotten in His eyes

i love how He throw surprise at me

i love how He demands that i not worry so He could finally bless me

I LOVE HOW HE BLESSES ME

i love how i do not feel unworthy before His eyes.

i love how He put wonderful friends around me

i love how i have the feeling of peace even when my exams are coming

i love how Daddy lets me know that everything will be alright.

i love, how He is love

shalom (:

2007-08-11T23:14:00.000+08:00

peng-ing at 10pm and then waking up at 2pm is bliss.
thats 16 hours of sleep, just enough for 2 days. bwahaha :D

i dont like overnighters. how undesirable it is, doing work all the to 6am and then packing up to go school. thank god for entertaining buddys who stay online all e way too. so anyway, i had my share of sleep last night, awesome.

i skipped squash training this morning though, oops.
it was just..too..early..
a girl needs her beauty sleep you know? (excuses excuses)

hee, i like apple pies. (:

----------------------------------------------------------------
why is there awkwardness?

2007-08-03T00:51:00.000+08:00

i wonder sometimes if i am a better friend online than in real life.
sure is easier to talk about things when one has the time to think about it instead of stuttering like a total idiot.

still havent found out the use of cmsk lessons.

pastor peter youngren is really really good (:
he is anointed evangelist! with a pretty good sense of humour too!

ladeeda
dinner was interesting. in my opinion, you are still the one who gives the best advices. very accurate observations too. haha.
damn i missed the talking.

2007-07-31T14:19:00.000+08:00

hello nov20
today is emo day.
oh poo, i really wanted to go. im so saddfied.

2007-07-30T00:28:00.000+08:00

this vid is a must watch!
the skit is so so awesome! watch till the end!

2007-07-29T21:35:00.000+08:00

hello nov20! been busy la, hehe
arrow service was loads of fun (:

before arrow service.. squeezy place..

jarett and yongjeeeeeee! hahah

jarett(:

a potato chips ad! hahaha

the proposal..LOL

hahaha this is the new band meh!

bwaahaha

silly fun (:

2007-07-22T22:22:00.001+08:00

i figured since most ppl gives their blogs name (butter, mr yoghurt, dairy(what originality!), etc..), maybe i'll give mine a name too.
no this is not called copying. it called, well er, fine. im copying.

how about novembertwenty. such a nice date isnt it. why, everybody who reads this blog will rmember the day. my, im such a genius sometimes i amaze myself. (:

so yes, hello nov20.
today was a good day. i liked today.

i love going to church. i love receiving the word and learning of the love of god.i love hanging around with my wonderful friends. the commando friendships made in church. where u nvr have to worry about backstabs, where u know u have friends u can go to when ur down. its really awesome. (:

yesterday was pretty cool too. being ICs with daryl for our group was really fun. though the grp didnt win, that wasnt the point. it was great. knowing new people and running around doing silly things with them.
the food was good too! it was such a pity we had to rush through all the food. but all was great fun.

chilling out at thirdplace was fun too. (sorry for e limited vocab. haha) the table tennis, board games, card games (bluff, which my sister sucked at since she cheated every single time. haha), playing e guitar with asher n other stuffs. yeap.

hm, strange, ive ran out of things to say. i rem thinkin i had loads to blog about. oh wells.

i shall start ranting then.

i love squash! love the friends there too. haha. its so silly, but yay. thank god!
i miss chessia. havent spent time with that silly girl for quite a while.

oh bah. i shall stop. i should study for my cmaths test tml.
Daddy, i believe You are faithful! let go and let god, shavonne. let go, and let god. your hands are too small. let Him handle them. (:

2007-07-15T23:22:00.000+08:00

oh my eyecandy has disappeared off. how sad. haha.

sometimes i wish life was simpler. haha. but i guess this is the way it is. (:

i. do. not. like. packing.
but e idea of a new renovated room isnt so bad. oh im ranting.
poly cluster event this coming saturday (:
Daddy, make it good ya.

i say, i really miss my sec4 class. 4dl! you guys are still so close to my heart! my gosh after reading my autograph book (childish i know, but hey, so much wonderful memories!) i realised how wonderful you guys really were. (not tt i nvr thought u guys were wonderful from the start la)
we should go hang out sometime again.

and superd, whens jamming! nick, organise something already! hahaha

hm, a message to bao:
i do cherish you as a friend ya. a good one too if u would allow. (: i may not know what ur going thru or how ur feeling, but i do care for u. dont build such a thick wall around urself hm? i guess, if u ever need to talk, i'll try to be there. no empty promises, but i would try my best ya. i may nt be able to give gd advices, but i can give a listening ear.. and a hug! (:
take down e mask la, im sure we'll still love the real you. (:

ok ya, haha. i love my class girls.

church was good. i am so proud that pastor prince is MY senior pastor. God has really done so so much through him. this man has truly impacted my life.

from parents that nearly wanted to divource to an amazingly wonderful family.
from millionaire to almost bankruptcy and now financially strong again.
my god is truly good.
how do i know god is real? cos he is so real in my life!
i dont know how would i have survived if i nvr knew how much He actually loved me.
none of me, all of jesus.

i thank god for commando friendships and great leaders. in arrow they were talking about voting a M.A.D person (making a difference)
someone who made a difference in my life. and wow i could think of so many..

immanuel, steve, jon, amy..
really praise god. my life has been so amazingly blessed.. haha

god is love
u dont know god till you know his love.

2007-07-10T12:43:00.000+08:00

i was starting to write this long whiny depressing post on how pathetic my school academic life is. on how dreadful the projects are piling up and the way i work hard yet come up with crappy results.

but you know what? the rest of a labouring man is sweet.
Lord, i trust You. You give me the strength i need.

not my own strength, but Yours. none of me, all of You.

You be my peace in this storm.
in You i have my victory. (:

2007-07-08T22:08:00.000+08:00

look bao, nvr abandon blog. hahaha. still got pics know! wanted to do zoo but this ook forvere already. imagine doing with e amount of zoo pics we have. >_<

outing with tp's caregroup was awesome.
frisbee! kfc! spiderweb thingy! oh ya peh ya song!
hahahaha
oh caregroup is love (:

OUTING WITH MY TP CAREGROUP! (:

superman! lol

guys will be guys..

vivien!

candid shot (:

rachel! she can play soccer better than most guys lo

nick n i. he thinks he looks cute. LOL

joey e self proclaimed hunk..

..who is freakin skinny!

e guys..

taupok-ed nick

hello IT students (:

rachel...

...smile! LOL

immanuel (:

nick n his drawing (when he lacked paper.hahaha)

HUI HUI JIE (o pls dont kill me if u see this)

chomp.

in KFC

kill e chilli man! hahaha

on e spider web thingy

oh dear...daryl!

esther!!! (:

imm trying to look scared. the word is trying. hahaha

joey on top~

group photo. haha

pic from below, no, there are no underwears in sight. i think. dont check u pervert!

haha, nick n i (:

woah that took long.

2007-07-04T00:48:00.000+08:00

going to temasek poly was quite a waste of time. nat low didnt show up so thats 4 hrs of lesson gone. only left prsp lecture, which was, well, a lecture. haha.

hanyuen came over early. haha. (:
then we went to watch the girl who leapt through time at orchard with asher and jensen(?). my goodness we sat at e first row! asher kept going lower n lower in his seat. hahaha. but the movie was good.
for a bunch of 20 yr old guys, haha, they sure dont behave like it.
cant believe it, have i reached the age of going out with 20 yr olds already? hahaha.

in the library..

we went pepper lunch! yum. got my treat! ahaha.

went to the 9t floor one of e xbox chambers to chill out after dinner. haha was super fun.

fixing the xbox.. yes the green thing is a bean bag. yes it looks sad n deflated.

some flying game. i kinda sucked at it. hahaha. but boys will be.. boys. hahaha

very stressful to use the laptop..

hanyuen! going NS next week.. hahaha

asher, the singer, dancer, guitarist yadda yadda.

jansen! (:

what was it i said about 20 yr old guys again...?

2007-07-02T21:21:00.000+08:00

hi blog.

2007-06-30T23:54:00.000+08:00

ALP was fucked up.
ok sorry.
but it was damn shit, due to some people who, hm, dont keep to their words.
terrible.

but on e bright note, watched transformers.
my gosh, e animation n specials effectsis amazing. 4.5 stars from me.

and to the damned spam mails, no i dont have a dick so i dont need it to grow bigger. bloody hell.
and no, i dont want to chat with you. or play e damned casino. or become an interior decorator.
screw off.

2007-06-28T03:09:00.001+08:00

so tired ):

2007-06-25T21:20:00.000+08:00

hoho, time to rush visual literacy and and computer systems. how not fun. biological clock all out of whack. ):
and alwin doesnt want to be my morning entertainer. im saddified. ):
o wells ):

o such a depressing post. i shall stop now.

2007-06-24T04:00:00.000+08:00

starry promises.
today's deco for service was super awesome. UV lights and everything. wow. uber cool.
hahah
i loved service. was abit long, but nonetheless... (:

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
i realised everybody likes writing their little stories on their current relationship situations here so..here goes: boy, you're cute.

2007-06-24T00:43:00.000+08:00

im supposed to be doing my visli research but..ho-hum..
lol

THE DRINKING TEST
1. do you like drinking?
depends
2. have you ever drank underage?
uhhh... i still am. hee
3. have you tried cocktails? what have you tried?
yep. er, cosmopolitan, margarita, sex on the beach (LOL)
4. do you know how to make any?
i know how to make magarita! hahaha
5. what kind of alcohol do you not like?
beer! and brandy and whisky.
6. red wine or white?
both are fine. depends on e food lo.
7. favourite drink?
well, i like baileys, i like ice wine, i like vodka, i like...
8. do you get drunk easily?
i dont think so..
9. what do you when you are drunk?
ehh.. sleep lo. ahah
10. how many times have u gotten drunk?
so far one time only la
11. where do you usually drink?
at home. (:
12. who are your drinking companions?
family la
13. do you believe that drinking is healthy?
uhhh..
14. do you make a fool out of yourself when drunk?
i dont think so.
15.love drinking?
(:

oops. hahahaha. okok back to visli.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
hush hush, the Lord is listening and He knows. He comforts you and love you to wholeness :)

2007-06-23T02:39:00.000+08:00

as i look into the sky above, wonder how my life has changed, wonder how your love it came to me..

as i look into the sky above, all my fears so far away, all i hear is heaven calling me...

as i look to you.. as i look to you..
no one else will do. no one else will do..

2007-06-22T22:48:00.000+08:00

was out with my birthday boy alwin today. 24 is a good number. its 12x2 and 8x3 and 6x4 and..ok screw maths.
hahaha

went to e cgoverdrive today. hm for what is supposed to be asia's largest computer graphic event, it sure is small.
but there r lots of pretty stuff. inspiring! hahaha

the only problem was since we thought the whole thing would be bigger n take a longer time, we had absolutely nothing to do after it.
it was quite silly. hahaha.
walked around plaza sing for quite a while to waste time, went into nearly every cd shop, saw coach val.. ya
hahaha

it was quite a nice day. (:
parents had bbq which was a little boring since its their caregroup. lol.
but.. ok la.

now time to rush visli.
finally done and over with the darned prsp.

2007-06-22T05:28:00.000+08:00

bloody hell, i've been on this damned project for 24 hours.

2007-06-19T23:19:00.000+08:00

4DL'06 IS LOVE LOVE LOVE. <3
hahahaha

artistic shot? HAHA. its cool man. cos the photographer (yours truly) is cool! =D

ailin n i! whats with e expression girl!

alicia. haha cute shot!

sara lee cake, maggimee and floorball

lots n lots of hotdogs and crabsticks

me, stephie, adelyn!

me alicia ailin!

alicia n i!

smile! cos flowers r pretty (:

ok we're too happy

HEE.

bimbo look. hahaha

sher and shern. hahahaha. shern & shern. sher n shern. shernshern?

shern n i

mock! long tongue!

han chong!

junwen looks blur

7 girls! look funny! =P

8 girls! all DL class girls! yeah we rock (:

heehee

they all look blur

n mock looks blur

hehe, truth or dare time

kissy kissy~ han chong n alicia

ok selah, happy birthday joshua!

candle light shot, so romantic =D

blooowwwww

was gonna whack his head down but he too fast la

dare no.2, mock to put his head into josh's shirt for 5s. hahaha

hehehe. so fun.

dare no.3, sher to lick ty's ear. *ew!

ok this isnt a dare, they did it themselves. lol. really mouth to mouth lo

shern sher, me ali!

yay, overall..
bbq with 4dl was uber fun (:
i love! (:

2007-06-18T15:34:00.000+08:00

Your favourite name is Father..

2007-06-13T23:21:00.000+08:00

woo jamming was fun! (:(:
we were at 4 tones! (:

nic

jack n alene

josh

ernie

alene ethel me!

nick ethel me sam

ethel nick me alene sam on vocals
sam claire on keyboard
ernie joshua on electric
nic on bass
jack on drums

o what boring comments. hahahha

but jamming was fun (:

2007-06-13T01:19:00.001+08:00

squash training was tiring! haha theres another on thurs!
but supper/dinner at simpang bedok was fun!
had lots of fun with shi jie (eheh bao chuan, ur exclassmate!) and mates.
was like going crazy with shi jie. we can be drama queens liao. hahaha

anyway.. yay jamming tml! (:

and to my dear c170, please dont shoot me with questions about Christianity all at one go on mass chat. i cannot type so fast. stress me on msn sia, make me so flustered.
like he type this, i think "WRONG!" then want to reply, then another person type something else. very hard to catch up leh.
and mind ur words la k? sometimes its quite offensive.

and dear wei kang, my name is SHAVONNE!
blah. terrible boy.

oh and yesterday i wanted to blog something along the lines of "wlao prepared so much food nobody eat" but i forgot. so ya.
hahaha

2007-06-11T01:25:00.000+08:00

how do i know jesus is real?
cos he is so real in my life!

when one reads of the newspaper that he jus won the lottery or 4D, what does he do? sit around and do nothing? NO! he celebrates! he spreads the good news! he tells everybody that he won!

but why? why does he celebrate? he just got it off a newspaper!
you know why?
cos he BELIEVES it! he knows it is true! THATS WHY he celebrates!

its the same thing with the bible! the good news is in there. you have won, you are no under the clutches of the devil but in the hands of god! your past sins are forgotten and you are now a blessed child of the most high god! you JUST HAVE TO BELIEVE IT!

its the same as the guy who won the lottery. if he doesnt believe, he wouldnt go redeem it and he'll never know what he has won. if you dont believe the good news, you would continue to live a life of disappointments feeling unloved and guilty. believe it! and open the gates of blessings god has placed in store for u!

do you believe? i do. (:

(like the got milk ad: got jesus?)

haha. anyway..
yay i found my wallet! praise god! i thought i lost it friday when i was out with bao chuan n devon at school's library. haha. the way i found it was amazing tho. i jus opened the exact bag i brought to church yesterday and found it there! (i promised u, i've dug there before) everybody i asked wasnt the one who found it. haha. so.. how i found it i dont care. thank you jesus!

whoo, bbq tml!
jamming on wed! yes!
THE ZONE CONCERT ON FRI! whoooo
laissez faire on sat, (:

how exciting! haha praise god man.
oh and the new car is awesome.

its reaally big, the picture doesnt do it justice.
and this car seriously came by god's grace! amazing!

oh and my dad might be selling off one ofthe houses at 1.82 mil. if he sold it last yr it would only be 1.34 mil or something like that. but praise god, its really favour! now there are two tenants wanting the house the the price keeps going up.
2 mil in jesus's name!
my god is big i tell you, nothing is impossible!
(:

alright. this is a long post. i should go sleep.. haha
love u all~

oh yes

Location Map:

im opening a table on sat. do go see n support me!!

2007-06-10T01:33:00.000+08:00

graffiti competition was fun! too bad didnt win, prize was a 40 bucks b&j voucher and backstage pass to planetshakers concert lehhhh... iwant!!
oh well. haha
heres the pics anyway!

deep in discussion!

grp pic!

painting

HAHA ESTHER!

grp pic with finished work (:

SIM,SMU.. aiya read e title!

NUS. chains means bondage broken, not bondage. lol. oh and they won. bleaH! * yes thats jealousy ur smelling*

NTU

JC! judges added aline that went something like "is this jc work or p6 work?". ouchie.

young adults! they nearly won. but aiya, also not graffiti lehhhhhh

desperate measures for desperate times. what we put under e light jus to make sure it shines right. hahaha

poser nick!

poser nick and i. hahaha

amy! my care group leader! i love love love amy!!!11!!oneone!!11!!

pearlyn! i love pearlyn too. she bakes nice brownies! haha

coach barnabas (yes same name) and wife! coach is so funny. hahaha (:(:

crowd before service

grp pic!

girls grp pic!

crowd during service!

crows during service..without..flash..?

whoo! presentation!

judges didnt like our choice of colours. darn. but heck la, i think POLY CLUSTER DID THE BEST! HAHAHA

(: (:

and service rocked. pastor chin's right about alot of stuff. one who goes from guy/girl to guy/girl is weak and afraid to be lonely,therefore moving from person to person, hurting alot of people on the way. but men can never feel the void inside..
only god can.
the thing is. alot of people know that, but they jus refuse to let go and let god.
its so sad really.
people should really know this jesus i know, experience this jesus i have experienced with.

He can do more than you can ever imagine, really.

2007-06-07T23:22:00.000+08:00

i do love my class. haha
c170wns! (:

yes, tml is e end of terms tests! hello holidays! (:
haha. tml gonna be fun (:

sat is gonna be exciting too.
graffiti competition! whoo! then arrow service, which is as usual, gonna be awesome.
yes what wonderful things to look foward to. (:
praise god!
haha

alright. back to cmsy, love u all.

2007-06-03T01:22:00.000+08:00

i wish i could learn how to dance. hahaha

went back for dare service today. oh i missed e youths! haha, things seemed to have changed a little since i left to go up to arrow ministry.

anyway was talking to a taxi driver today. pleasant old man isnt exacty the description. he's a christian alright, yet what he believes is not right. i can see his heart, how he wants to reach out to the world by preaching to them on his taxi (they're stuck u see, cant exactly jump out of the taxi)

while chatting, when he said salvation was not eternal, i knew it was a lie straight from the pit of hell, yet i could not think of a way to tell him.
felt so helpless ):
but its worse to imagine him preaching a lie to the unbelievers.
oh dear..

jesus blss him..
open his eyes, let him see how big you really are.

oh i dont kow what else to say.

*pray in tongues*

2007-05-31T13:44:00.000+08:00

hey jesus.

my terms tests are coming, i really have no idea how im gonna handle them.
lord i put them in your nail-pierced hands, your hands are way bigger then mine.
the pressure to score well is a burden too large for me to bear. you take it, lord
on the cross you redeemed me from all the pressures and stress. you said your burden is easy, your yoke is light.
i choose to trust you, not in my own strength. im no fool, you know way better then do. for your glory jesus, for your glory. (:

Some see a teacher
Standing on a hill
Speaking words of wisdom
Some see a healer
Reaching out his hand
To give sight to a blind man
Some see a dreamer
Wasting his life
On what can never be
Some see a fool
Dying for his dreams

But I see love (I see love)
I see love (I see love)
Light of heaven breaking through
Well I see grace (I see grace)
I see God's face (I See Gods face)
Shining pure and perfect love
When I see you
I see love

Some see a prisoner
Alone before his judge
With no one to defend him
Some see a victim
Beaten and abused
With all the world against him
Some see a martyr
Carrying his cross
For what he believes
Some see a hero
Who set his people free

But I see love (I see love)
I see love (I see love)
Light of heaven breaking through
Well I see grace (I see grace)
I see God's face (I See Gods face)
Shining pure and perfect love
When I see you

With your last breath
I see love
Through your death
I see love
I see peace in the eyes of the king
I see hope in your suffering (I see love)
I see a calm in the center of the storm
I see a Saviour

I see love
I see love
Light of heaven breaking through (heaven breaking through)
I see grace
I see God's face
Shining pure and perfect love
When I see you
I see love
When I see you
I see heaven breaking through
See Gods face
Shining pure and perfect love
When I see you
When I see you
When I see you
I see love
I see love
When I see

Some see Him walking from an empty grave

i see you walking from an empty grave..
you're not just a teaccher, not just a healer, not just a martyr.. you are the son of god, who came down from heaven to die for people like me. people who have sinned. no not just for good people, but for people who fail, people who miss the mark, people who are losers without you, people like.. me

you died for my sake but you didnt wait for me to be good before you died for me. you never said you will die for me only if i changed. no, for while i ignored you, you already laid down your life and even when you were dying you said you love and forgive me. on the cross you bore all my sins and gave me your righteousness and the place as a child in front of god.

this is my jesus. do you believe?

2007-05-30T00:59:00.000+08:00

my jesus lives in me.
his love for me never fails.
not like the love of man, they may fail, i may fail.. but not you lord, you never fail.

i am secure in christ (:

2007-05-23T00:30:00.000+08:00

the world is screwed when the government is even considering to allow homosexuality.
forget situational ethics, some stuff are just.. plain wrong.

i cant wait for planetshakers! so exciting! (:

who wanna go to tpjc's runway fashion i dont know what its called show? dont make me go alone! that is just so sad! ):

oh, and term tests are coming sooooooooooooon.
scary.
oh wells.

ok i've ran out of interesting topics. good night.

2007-05-21T00:05:00.001+08:00

2007-05-17T23:03:00.001+08:00

A basketball in my hands is worth about $19.
A basketball in Michael Jordan's hands is worth about $33 million.
It depends whose hands it's in.

A baseball in my hands is worth about $6.
A baseball in Johan Santana's hands is worth $4.75 million.
It depends on whose hands it's in.

A tennis racket is useless in my hands.
A tennis racket in Venus Williams' hands is championship winning.
It depends whose hands it's in.

A rod in my hands will keep away a wild animal
A rod in Moses' hands will part the mighty sea.
It depends whose hands it's in.

A sling shot in my hands is a kid's toy
A sling shot in David's hand is a mighty weapon.
It depends whose hands it's in.

Two fish and 5 loaves of bread in my hands is a couple of fish
sandwiches.
Two fish and 5 loaves of bread in God's hands will feed thousands.
It depends whose hands it's in.

Nails in my hands might produce a birdhouse.
Nails in Jesus Christ's hands will
produce salvation for the entire world.
It depends whose hands it's in.

As you see now it depends whose hands it's in.
So put your concerns, your worries, your fears,
your hopes, your dreams, your families
and your relationships in God's hands because...
It depends whose hands it's in.

2007-05-15T17:00:00.000+08:00

Lord remind me again.. remind me of your love, of your sacrifice.
you be my hope and strength. my beautiful savior..
let me enjoy this walk with you.

I don't need a lot of things
I can get by with nothing
Of all the blessings life can bring
I've always needed something
But I've got all I want
When it comes to loving you, you're my only reason
You're my only truth

I need you like water, like breath, like rain
I need you like mercy from Heaven's gate
There's a freedom in your arms that carries me through
I need you

You're the hope that moves me to courage again
You're the one that rescues me when the cold winds rage
And it's so amazing cause that's just how you are
And I can't turn back now cause you've brought me too far

I need you like water, like breath, like rain
I need you like mercy from Heaven's sky
There's a freedom in your arms that carries me through
I need you

Oh, yes I do
I need you like water, like breath, like rain
I need you like mercy from Heaven's gates
There's a freedom in your arms that carries me through
I need you
Oh, yes I do
I need you
I need you

2007-05-12T22:47:00.000+08:00

its good knowing im in the world but not of the world. my home is in heaven with my heavenly daddy. (:
jesus, my joy.

squash trials was rather okay, although i have absolutely no idea whether i got in. i do hope so, i need e cca points. haha. i think e coach is really funny (:
im really glad i dont have to look to e acceptance of men, of the people around me. i am secured in christ, and just knowing jesus opens this floodgate of blessings that pours into my life.

jesus took my rejections and my depressions to the cross. in Him i am joyful. in Him i know that im fighting from victory, not for victory.
i really thank god for how school has been. VisLi was really nicely done, praise jesus.
i like my class girls. haha
<3 bao
<3 piyathip
<3 huiying

haha. arrow service was awesome today. (:loved every single bit of it.
its good to be loved.
the lord is always with me, even at my lowest points, he is there with me. he is my joy, my strength and my hope. i put my dreams in his hands and i know through him they will become i reality. i love. (:

i shall enjoy life for everything will turn out for my good (:

2007-05-08T00:57:00.000+08:00

a really really good writing on the story of the fathers love for the prodigal son.
koped frm sean's livejournal.

The Father's Love Part I - The Prodigal Son
A parable of Jesus, Luke Chapter 15.

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The boy was sitting down in a makeshift shed of staves and straw, his knees curled up to his chest. Filth caked his body, which was wrapped in tattered cloths held together with a string tied around his waist. It was barely able to keep out the cold that pounded his body mercilessly at night sending him into uncontrollable shivering fits, Fits that grew worse when it rained.

His arms and legs were covered with rashes and sores that festered in the dirt, providing the opportunistic flies that buzzed around him with a quick meal or two... His hair was unkempt, and hung matted down his neck and face coated with slime and dung from the pen, which the owner of the house kept pigs... as well as him.

the "little pig boy"... they had called him.

He glanced to his left, towards the herd of pigs which he was ordered to look after.. the swine lay in their pools of muck like kings, rolled themselves here and about with an an expression of contentment that was almost human. There they also feasted on the bean pods that he had heaped on the trough for them. The smacking and crunching sound that came from their feeding produced an angry growl in the pit of his stomach; He had not eaten anything for days already... He could steal some of the beans that the pigs ate, but he knew that doing that would only provoke the wrath of the man he worked for; who was already calling him a lazy man and threatening always to throw him back into the gutters he came from. Thus he could only make do by slaking his thirst from the rain that fell, or sharing the muddy water that the pigs drank from,

He sighed, and pushed away thoughts of food from his mind... with a stick he found somewhere in his hand, he prodded it aimlessly into the soil in from of him. Falling deep into thought, his mind wandered far from where he sat.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
He scanned the horizon before him... The sun beat down on his scalp and made the air shimmer and ripple... Still he sat there, fixing his eyes on the long road that led to his town. The Old man had done that everyday without fail for the past months... stooped and resting on his walking stick, he rose every morning to to walk slowly to the town's gates. there he would sit by the wayside... searching the road with squinting eyes and waiting till dusk had come, muttering prayers under his breath. Occasionally he would ask strangers passing by for news and happenings from the towns and cities beyond, And everytime they had not volunteered any news that helped. He could barely hide the bitter disappointment he felt.

The townspeople that went by their daily tasks would shake their heads each time they saw the old man, Some casting looks of Sympathy, some sniggering privately at what they perceived as foolishness. But most would utter oaths and curses at the one who had caused the old man to come day by day to the same spot in futile waiting...

A few months ago, His younger son had come storming into his house, As he rose to greet him with a kiss, the boy had turned away from him and declared that he was going to leave the town, that he had grown sick of the place and wanted to seek his future elsewhere. He then demanded to have his share of the family inheritance. That had left him speechless for a moment, for customarily the inheritance was to be divided among his sons only when he died. He had tried to entreat his boy, tried to find out why he wanted his inheritance so prematurely, tried to make him stay. But his son would have it no other way... He wanted his share immediately, he wouldn't wait till the time was right..

It was as if his son had said to him:

"Drop dead now old man, i want my share now for i cannot wait for you to die!".

He could not understand why his son wanted to do that, He loved the boy, even though he was not the eldest and would not receive a bigger share of his legacy. He doted on his sons and always gave them everything that they wanted and needed from their birth. He made sure that they were never in lack. His 2 sons were his pride and joy, and he was always envied by the town who called him blessed because he had two strong sons to carry his name. They were what the scriptures had said; the "Olive shoots around his table". Since when did he become so estranged?

but that youngest son had come and had demanded from him... and He could only watch helplessly as his son packed his share in his luggage and walked out of town down the long road that day, never once turning back. His eldest son had watched the whole spectacle with scorn written on his face, shaking out the dust from his sandals and spitting on the ground when his younger brother left. But there the old man sat, still watching, still waiting ever since that day.

Evening came, Servants from his house had come looking for him with a message entreating him to return... The day had not been fruitful, His son had not returned... Unwillingly, he tore his gaze away from the road and turned back into town, looking back over his shoulder again and again until they entered the gates..

And as he did he told himself;

He return tomorrow.

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The Father's Love Part II
A parable of Jesus, Taken from Luke 15. Dramatizations entirely my own.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The stick in his hand dug into the mud... His mind wandered...

Having stayed his whole life with his father he had grown tired of a life he considered as dreary, in a place he considered as a backwater town. Despite all the luxuries he had enjoyed since he was a little boy he still felt that the town that he lived in was small, boring and insignificant. Having never even gone beyond the stones that marked its boundaries.

At home he would listen to all the stories that passing travellers told; of cities with huge walls taller and longer than the eye can see, of how gold was as common as dust and the women beautiful beyond belief and just as easy. He would often invite merchants and traders to his house, Lapping up with relish the tales they spun; of exotic lands ruled by peoples of darker skins who wore the furs of terrible beasts on their bodies, where one can pluck precious stones out of the rocks as easily as plucking ripe fruit off a tree.

Blinded by these tales of fantasy, lust and riches. He began to despise what he had; a comfortable home, a prospering family business... and a Father who loved him.

"One day, I'll get out of here..." he had often said to himself.

The first few months in the new city had been marvellous, his heart brimming with promise and adventure. It had been almost all that he had heard about; Huge walls and buildings, incredible numbers of people of all sorts, plying goods and treasures, some of which he had never seen before. An abundance of rich foods, luxurious lodgings, fine wine and even beautiful bodies was to be had and enjoyed; He had never seen so many prostitutes in his life! Congregating in the pleasure districts openly displaying themselves... Young and lithe ones, plump ones, olds ones and even young men and beautiful looking boys. It seemed that everything could be sold and bought... as long as the price was right.

He had been free with his money, and Gossip soon spread, faster than fire that a rich man had come to town, his coffers full of coin... Friends came easily, with wide smiles and sparkling eyes they had come to him, and he was always invited to the most outrageous parties everyday, where they ran riot in all manners of debauchery. Bingeing on food, alcohol, pleasure girls and narcotics... Once or twice during these nights he had thought about home, about his old father that had pleaded and held on to him on the day he left. But these thoughts evaporated as soon as one of his new friends urged him to drink and be merry, making toasts to "everlasting friendship"...

And then the famine had come, fields were left fallow and dry... dying crops and livestock sent the prices of goods skyrocketing. Food became scarce, and people lost their jobs. The young man realised that his wallet had depleted, his money spent down to just a few coins in but a few months of riotous living. He had accumulated debt from all the tabs he picked up in the taverns and parties, Unsavoury characters had come knocking on his door more than a few times demanding settlement, the last group had been quite graphic with their threats. All the friends he had lent money to were nowhere to be found, seemingly melted into shadows, and the rest of his friends kept their doors locked, refusing to see him as he knocked on them, wanting to lend a few coins to tide him over...

He tried to convince himself that the famine will be over soon, Assuaging his fears by telling himself that he would get a job and earn his own keep, he tried to be positive.

But the Famine did not end, and he soon found himself thrown out of his apartment, having been unable to pay the rent. Every friend he had made had turned him away with looks of disgust, refusing to lend him anything. The Loansharks fell upon him in the alleys, they surrounded and beat him up for the bad debts, breaking a few ribs and taking away from him anything of value he had left.

Beaten and bruised in the dark alley... he realised for the first time, that he was now alone, starving, and penniless in a foreign land, far far away from home.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was The beginning of another day, the old man had risen early before the rising of the sun, his mind intent on a single purpose; to go to the gate of the town and wait.

Dressing himself, He grimaced at the stiffness of his limbs as he tried to shrug himself into his robes. "you are getting old..." a voice spoke in his head, and he sighed as he looked into his reflection in the water basin under the lamp light; his face was furrowed with wrinkles, framed by a long white beard shot with gray. His skin looking like splotchy, crumpled parchment. He felt the weight of his years on his shoulders as he grasped for his walking stick, trying to find strength in his athritic fingers to grip it.

He made his way out of the house, hunched over and Slowly walking, each step felt heavy and his knees hurt in the early morning cold. As he passed the town's well, the women were already gathered there drawing water for their families. Many of them saw him and bowed their heads in respect for the elderly man, who barely noticed them as he passed by... But as soon as he did, the hushed whispers began, women gossiping amongst themselves..

"There he is again, like he does every morning"

murmur, murmur....

"Poor man, to have his unfillial son do that to him!"

Whisper, whisper....

"Why does he do thus every day? For all we know that son of his might already be dead!"

The old man's head shot up as he somehow heard that sentence spoken. The women, sensing the impending trouble quickly became silent and dispersed, lest they incur his wrath... The old man turned around to regard the dipersing crowd of women with sadness filling his eyes, a lump formed in his throat as he forced back his tears; he would not let any of them see him cry...

But they had spoken his innermost thoughts, thoughts that he had feared the most:

That his son, his beloved son, Might be dead already. That he was really simply waiting in vain.

How he missed his son! How Could these women not understand how much he loved him?
How much he longed to embrace his son, and smell the fragrance of his hair as he kissed him... Of how much he wished that his son was sleeping soundly still in his house, instead of wandering out far away from home...

Call it an old man's stubborness if they will, But he straightened a bit more, grabbed his walking stick with more strength and continued walking towards the city gate... He had decided, that he would not let go of even then tiniest sliver of hope. If his son was out there, if there even was a chance that his son was alive, then he would wait everyday outside the gate for him.

He would wait.

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The Father's Love Part III - the prodigal's thoughts.
A parable of Jesus, from Luke Chapter 15; Dramatizations entirely my own.

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So the young, once rich man had become a beggar on the streets of the city.

Without a single penny left, his once fine clothes had become ruined, tattered and dust stained as he drifted around the city, begging for money, food and looking for any work that can be done and being paid barely enough, if he was lucky he would eat scraps and bones; fighting with stray dogs and other beggars over leftovers thrown away in the refuse heaps of houses whose occupants still seemed well off even during the famine. At night he would sleep on the streets or whichever semblance of shelter he could find.

cold, alone and desperate.

Eventually he arrived at a gentile farmstead on the outskirts of the city, where he met the owner and began his usual practice of asking for food, money and work.

The owner probably sneered at his grovelling, and was intent on sending him away with a stout cudgel, but the young man had begged with tears and pleaded earnestly not to be sent away, that he had not eaten anything in days, and that he would do anything, any task. only in exchange for food and shelter.

Finally the owner looked him over, and told him that he had no work for the likes of him, Except one;

to be his swineherd, and look after a herd of pigs he kept on the farm, And his shelter would be at the pig pen, where the pigs slept. As for food, he would have to forage for his own.

The Young man's face fell: He was a jew, and pigs were the most unclean animals to his race and religion! He was taught of all these since young, and to even be near a pig was revolting to his sensibilities. He looked at the pigs in the fields eating, playing and sleeping in their own defecation. He felt bile rise up in his throat, he wanted to vomit but he had nothing in his belly to throw up.

The Owner stared at him with an expression that told him: "Take it or get out of my farm.", Finality seeped into him. Stripped of all his final shreds of dignity and having no other choice, He agreed.

How far has he fallen? He wondered. From being a rich young man full of promise, to becoming a worthless beggar doing what even the lowliest of servants at home would refuse to do... Even the lowliest of servants who had once waited on him hand and foot...

In his father's house.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

He was jerked back into awareness by a sharp pain in his toe, and realised that one of the piglets had strayed and came wandering to where he sat. There it had plopped down near his feet and proceeded to suckle his toe, mistaking it for its mother's teat!

With a shout and a swipe from his stick the young man sent the piglet squealing away. He had enough. This was Rock bottom. And something in him snapped.

"How many of my father’s hired servants have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger!"

He said to himself. Remembering the abundance of family, and how his father would regularly and generously give the servants and their families extra food above their monthly allowances.

Extra Food! His stomach rumbled again...

There is only one other place he could go to now; Back home.

"I will arise and go to my father"

But what would his Father say? What would the town say? when they see him crawling back, having squandered everything he was given. He knew he had gravely offended his father, and was almost certain that he was already disowned. And rightly so! For he was the one who had rejected his father and his family and the first place! How could anyone do something like he did and still expect his father to still call him a son?

no, he would not expect to be a son. He would have to appear contrite and repentant, He would, beat his chest, tear his hair, fall at his father's feet, kiss his ankles and say to him:

“Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you, and I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Make me like one of your hired servants."

He rehearsed that line over and over in his mind. Yes, He would do just that, He would grovel, beg, plead again like he had done so many times the past months. If he could not be a son, then he would be a lowly servant, at least he would not suffer any more hunger, at least he would have clothes and shelter.

At Least he would not have to beg and feed pigs.

With his decision set he stood up and made his way out of the farm as stealthily as he could. And staggered down the main road that led the way home.

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Musings in retrospect:

How many times people go through life wanting the good things but never accepting that There is Someone who will give unconditionally and without charge?

I remember when i used to believe that God looks at my faults, and that i needed to make a show of repentance before him, i needed to appear chastened and downcast, i needed to tell God that i was a dirty and unworthy sinner and beg for his mercy... I used to believe that when i did that, God would be suitably appeased and give me a chance, a chance that would last until the next sin i commited.

So much condemnation, insecurity... one would spend the first 20 minutes in a half hour worship session in that "semblance" of repentance, searching your heart; naming your sins one by one and beg for forgiveness. In that mentality one begins to find himself increasingly estranged from God, less prone to believing The God is Good, Unable to come before God to ask for healing and blessings and starting to question and justify every blessing that occasionally happens.

Like a yoke that hangs heavy down one's shoulders.

The burden was never ours to carry. None in history who ever lived could. All have failed Except for ONE.

Come then, and look intently at the ONE man who bore that burden and did the ONE final Right Thing with it. and there we Find our rest from Him.

Look At Jesus, And His One Finished Work on the Cross that Paid the price every one of my failures; In Full and with interest and unlimited funds left over.

Look at the Father, And his ONE Decision to To Save You Once for all by sending His Son to come into this World.

On His Body the Father He Named our every sin, And Did not Hold back His punishment.
On our Lives the Father Named His Every Blessing, And Poured out His Love with no holding back.

The Father Heard His Son beg to be excused from His wrath, But He did Not Alter His course
Today The Father Will come, heaven and angels running to us to meet even every need or plea.

How can anyone exhaust or explain fully how much We Loved by our Father God???

But I'm getting ahead of myself, for the story isn't done yet. =)

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The Father's Love Part IV - The Old man
A Parable of Jesus, From Luke Chapter 15. Dramatizations entirely my own.
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It was midday, the Sun hung on its perch. Its stifling heat made the air shimmer and sent mirage ripples gliding down the horizon, playing the occasional trick on the eyes...

The old man felt the strain on brows that had remained pinched in a squint for a few hours now, his eyes, slightly dulled with age had already mistook the mirages for travellers on more than a few occasions... It was never easy, and always disappointing when the thrilling surge of hope was quickly replaced by a stabbing discouragement which came with the realization that the image before him was only heat and air.

His Son had not yet returned...

Yet He saw his son's face everywhere, and he remembered every detail of him; the colour of his hair and eyes, the way he smelt and the way he would smile... It never changed! The old man marvelled as he remembered that his son smiled exactly the same way he did as a child.

He thought about the way his son walked; a slight gait that made his shoulder sway more to the left, the way his arms would swing slightly and how his head would be slightly cocked.

In that solo reverie, he would remember the past... the happier times when his sons were growing up:

He remembered bringing his boys to the synagogue on sabbath morning. He watched their faces light up in wonder as the rabbi recounted again to the children the stories of their ancestors, of how God had saved them out of egypt by parting the sea, how God tested Father Abraham by commanding him to sacrifice his beloved son Issac. It would always move him profoundly Whenever he heard the Rabbi recount that particular scripture, for he knew that it was such a hard command to obey, as he gazed at his young son he wondered if he could ever do the same...

He remembered laying his hands on their heads as he pronounced the sabbath blessing over them, believing God to Bless them, Shine His face on them, To keep them in Shalom...

He remembered celebrating the feast days and festivals with them... On those days the town would have a fair, atrracting crowds that gathered as well as peddlers selling various wares and foodstuff. During the festivites the elder one would run to join his friends but his youngest would wail and complain that he couldn't see anything that was going on... then he would carry him onto his shoulders amidst squeals of delight, and join in the Music and dancing, just him and his son above his shoulders, much to the mirth of the townspeople who saw them both.

He remembered how his son would always try to race him to the house, he would always slow down at the last minute and let his son win. In the mornings his son would beg to join him In the fields where he supervised the workers, walking behind him and trying to imitate the adults and the way they walked, even the way they talked! He and his servants had laughed so hard at that...

Every one of those happy days they spent together...

Looking down the road again he noted the travellers and matched their profiles to his son's... for a moment He could almost swear that he saw his child running down the road towards him again, like how he looked like as a young child, loudly calling him with hair flopping wildly in the wind! Blinking his eyes again the vision melted away... there was nothing there but the endless stretch of road...

and he wondered if he was starting to hallucinate, or if he had finally succumbed to delusion just like some of the very old and infirm. That dull pain in His chest made him realise that the longing for a loved one could actually make one's heart ache for real...

Maybe his son was really never coming back.

Looking up into the sky, he beheld the blue expanse above him and could hold back no longer. The sobs came out from him in shuddering spasms, weary legs gave way as he sank to his knees on the ground, tears that were long held back slid freely down his weathered face... Letting go of his staff his lifted his hand imploringly heavenward, He opened his mouth but only anguished groans came as his breath choked on his sobs. He moved his lips in silent desperate prayer, hoping with every fibre that the Almighty One above would hear and answer...

"Help me Adonai.... let your servant's son be safe, shine Your face on him and bring him home...."

He whispered again and again as his head bent to the ground, his face touching the dirt as he wept like a child, his hands grabbing the loose soil and clumps of grass. And like that he wept for what seemed an eternity.

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The young man had lost track of how long he had walked, he no longer bothered to count the milestones along the road that told him how far he had left... His legs wobbled and wanted to give up, his hands possesively clutched around a small bag of his last morsel of bread and water that a passing traveller had kindly given to him. Breath came in laboured gasps and His bare feet were in blisters because of the burning hot road, and cut by the small sharp stones by the wayside.

He was a sorry sight; dirty, tired and battered

He had not realised that he was now walking in familiar territory... He had unknowingly passed the border stone that marked his home, and he was now standing at the edge, beside the stretch of fields that belonged to his family.

And all the time in his mind he was unsure and apprehensive, of the reception he would receive when he reached home...

Hopefully, they would not stone him.

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When the old man finally came to himself, he heaved a big sigh and gathered himself together to sit up on the ground. He wiped his face with a sleeve and looked up.

right there at the edge of the fields stood a figure of a man.

The old man blinked and rubbed at his eyes, squinted to ascertain that it was not a mirage and looked again.

It was not a mirage... Right there a man was stumbling down the road towards town.

And The sight of the man caused his heart to pound.

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This entry has really been enjoyable to write, in fact, i'm actually not writing a story. rather i'm merely interpreting a story that Jesus spoke to reveal God the Father to us. And it's amazing as i read the passage of scripture and it comes alive with all the sights, sounds, smell and colour. Truly the Word is Alive.

Of course, no matter how much one can write about a man loving his own son, one can never hope to achieve the same clarity and sublimity that accurately describes the Love that our Father God has for us, Because the Creator greatly supercedes the Created. And then one realises that no matter how deeply one can feel and put himself in the longsuffering father's shoes, The Reality of God's Love as reflected by Jesus when He spoke the parable is infinitely Greater.

Simply put, God Loves me Much more than i can ever think/believe He Does.

The Man in the parable Loved His Own Son
God in Reality gave His Most Beloved Son to Love me: Once an Outsider.

The Father in the story once had a relationship with his son
I had no relationship with Father God to Begin with, but now i'm a Son.

The Son in the parable was naturally born into the Family
I was dead in my spirit before i was born again into His Kingdom.

Of course, i also intepret this parable to typify the different kinds of Christians today... But I think when Jesus told the story then, there were no Christians yet.

God So Love the World, He Gave His Only Son.
God So Loved me, He Gave me Jesus.

This Kind of Love is not humanly possible, no one will choose a stranger over a loved one. I'm still learning, Still constantly amazed.

Our heavenly Abba.

And when the story unfolds itself, we discover that it was not really about a prodigal son.

"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11
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The Father's Love Part V - The Father Runs.
A Parable of Jesus, from Luke Chapter 15. Dramatizations entirely my own.

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It was no mirage this time, no illusion created by the ripples of heat

Sillhoutted against the burning sun was that familiar form... The gait, although marred by the weary stoop of the shoulders and the weak stumbling of tired feet was not hidden from the eyes of that one person who had memorised it in his heart over and over again.

It was Unmistakeable! It was the gait of his son!

It was the one whom he Loved all along, the one whom he missed, prayed and cried for all these long months... the one whom he had feared was dead but would never bring himself to admit it.

The old Father stood shakily to his feet, eyes wide, mouth agape and hands trembling in a moment of stunned silence as Waves after waves of emotions washed over him, overwhelming him; surprise, relief, happiness, joy... meshed up emotions that overlapped and mixed together... tumbling up and around within him until one single emotion rose up and grew till it took over his entire conciousness:

Compassion.

Compassion filled the Old Father's heart as he saw his son struggling to walk in the distance. Compassion that welled up so strongly he could scarcely endure to contain, Tears began to roll down again. He could barely breathe... it was as if his body threatened to burst from all the tension in him; Compassion within him demanded a release.

Just then, His son in the distance suddenly tripped over, and fell rolling down into the dust.

And like a river that broke loose from the dam, Compassion broke loose from the old man in an explosion of action. Casting off all reservations of dignified behavior, the old man grabbed the tails of his long robe and tucked them into his belt.. Casting away his staff and looking determinedly ahead towards his son he would wait not a second longer.

one step, two steps the old man leapt off down the dusty road; legs pumping, arms flailing, hair and white beard flying in a dead run towards his beloved one.

He would not stop until he had his son in his arms again.

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He strained to push himself off the hard and dusty ground he fell on. His knees had buckled and given way as he tripped, sending him tumbling off to the side, his head hurt and he felt giddy. He cursed under his breath, he had not been paying attention to the rock that jutted out in front of him, instead his mind was filled with thoughts of apprehension.

"Would father accept me back? would he even look at me?"

He was afraid, he had always been afraid ever since he took that first step towards home... doubtful, worried.

Still He rehearsed his line of penitence over and over in his mind.

"Make me like one of your hired servants!"

Yes, that would do, he imagined the scene again and again; he would kneel down and grovel, display that excessive amount of repentance required... and maybe his father would deign to look at him from the corner of his eye and send him to the servant's quarters... where there would at least be food, shelter and clothing.

But amidst those thoughts there was a tinge of sadness within... as a servant, he would never receive any affection from his father again. there would be no more hugs, no more kisses of greeting. maybe he would be made to do the most menial of tasks, as the lowliest of all the servants, he would have to spend the rest of his life with his head bowed. and rightfully so! He was after all, the one that had rejected him in the first place, who had disgraced his father and family when he had spent his entire fortune on debauchery... such punishment could only be deserving.

Trying as he might to prepare himself, nothing could prepare him for what he was about to see next.

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2007-05-07T00:47:00.000+08:00

tradition? bah, ridiculous.

watched spiderman3 jus now. haha
spidey's best friend was hot while he lasted.
dang, he looks cute when he so happy. haha

anyway. ya. school tmr.

Psalm 118:24 (New King James Version)

24 This is the day the LORD has made;
We will rejoice and be glad in it.

this is the day the lord has made. no matter what, everything will turn out for MY good for my God LOVES me. (:

Psalm 23
A psalm of David.
1 The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.

2 He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,

3 he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.

4 Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

5 You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.

6 Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever.

the lord (god almighty) is (present now) my (MY! my own personal!) shepherd( who looks after me, knows me by name, and loves me).
i shall not be in want ( i am in this world, but not of this world, just as christ is. christ is my provider and i shall not lack. my abundance and richness comes from Him and has nothing to do with the circumstances of the world)

selah.

2007-05-05T15:28:00.000+08:00

oh i do love my caregroup. (: (:

caregroup rocks! haha.
love the sharing in school.
love worshipping under e stars at the amphi theatre.
so awesome..

caregroup, is love.

alrightys, lots of homework to catch up.

*jus realise after lookin thru past posts my style of writing keepschanging. haha. is so strange.

2007-05-05T00:25:00.000+08:00

i miss Israel.. i wanna go again.

my classmates r vulgar, dont really like that.
but other then that... they're not too bad la. haha (:

guys should definitely be more gentlemanly tho!
lols

2007-04-29T11:47:00.000+08:00

I'd like to see her skateboard in wedges like those!

nice pic tho, love e colours.

2007-04-28T00:43:00.000+08:00

haha, u know ur quite screwed when you wake up at 8 on the 4th day of your new poly life. especially when the lesson starts at 8. LOL

but oh well. favour favour la.
school was super long today, insane amount of breaks. terrible time management. but, its the school anyway, so i cant do anything about it.
oh btw, i joined squash as my cca! yay. (:

went for johna and john d's graduation at rhema bible school today. (:

john d!

john a with john d's hands. hahaha.

lol. desmond and the johns.

hahaha.. >_<

ready for attack!!

john me john.

alex n desmond!

jolene n i!

hahaha..

2007-04-25T17:33:00.000+08:00

hahahaa
tp gives an overwheming amount of ccas to choose from. its terrible! (what a strange response, i know)
i hate having to think of what to join..

i might join drama if nick is joining. haha.
or archery? that looks fun too. except i might kill someone, which would be like, you know, not good.
hmm..maybe squash, its easier to lose weight when im being forced to exercise. hahaha. and i do like squash.
dragonboat did cross my mind, but all e girls skin orhorh one.. so dark, no nice!
i wouldnt want to get muscles either, haha. imagine the fats when i grow old. nuanua one. hahaha!
joey also say dont join. (haha he's so supportive of his cca!)
taekwando?karate?
seems fun..

oh man, dno what to join..
the student union?

2007-04-24T16:52:00.000+08:00

i think 5 months of not needing to think hard has gotten to me. screwwwed.

well actually, school rather okay. just really boring.
hm, my class is kinda.. strange. it needs more girls la, seriously.
the ratio of 1:4 girls against guys is really kinda pathetic.

lectures are .. horribly boring.
i do like ms natasha though, shes nice.
bet she remember more names then the class guys do! lols (how very very sad)

oh another sucky thing is, there r assignments already. how terrible! its only the 2nd day of school!

anyway, it was fun meeting joey n esther for lunch yesterday tho (:

and...
i saw a cute senior just now! LOL.
oh wells. (:

alright enough ranting.

2007-04-19T23:49:00.000+08:00

my gosh

oh lord.

whats with the many guys little girls thing again!
sec 29 guys 8 girls.
now 16 guys 4 girls.

):

o well.

the night walk was good. i just really hated the whole thing.
stupid ivan. @#$%^&?!
blankety blankety blank!
daddy! he made me cry ):
hahah

ok. anyway, thankyoujesus. hahaha.
ivan was quite nice la.

details from the camp shall not be included. (:

haha.
im happy.
thankyou jesus for favour.
favour favour among my class.
thankyou jesus for health.
that by your stripes i am healed.
thankyou jesus.
for laying down your life so i might live an abundant one.

thankyou jesus.
that you took my curse so i might be blessed!

this is one blessed kid's blog you're reading!! (:

god's kid- destined for greatness!

2007-04-16T11:30:00.000+08:00

love e mass dance. (:

Deadeye Dick
New Age Girl

I've got a new age girl
(Tell us what she's like)
An environmentalist girl
(Does she ride a bike)
She has crystal necklace
(She spend a lot of cash)
Though her vibes are rather reckless
(She's heading for a crash)
Oh her flowing skirt is blowing in a transcendental wind
And she wonders without knowing where did she begin..

Mary Moon.. she's a vegetarian
(Mary Moon, Mary Moon, Mary Moon)
Mary Moon.. will outlive all the septuagenarians
(Mary Moon, Mary Moon, Mary Moon)
Oh, she loves me so
She hates to be alone
She don't eat meat
But she sure like the bone

RAH

You knew she drives a wind car
(How does she like it)
It doesn't get her far
(Why doesn't she bike it)
But it gets her to where she's going to
(I don't know, I don't know, I don't know)
Where that is, I wish I knew
I don't know where she's going
And I don't know where she's been
All I know that loving her has gotta be a sin

(Chorus)

RAH

Mary Moon will you hesitate
Don't segregate your thought from your emotions
I know that devotion isn't way up there

RAH

Mary Moon.. she's a vegetarian
(Mary Moon, Mary Moon, Mary Moon)
Mary Moon.. will outlive all the septuagenarians
(Mary Moon, Mary Moon, Mary Moon)
Mary Moon.. She's an intellectual
(Mary Moon, Mary Moon, Mary Moon)
Mary Moon.. Despite that fact remains quite sexual
(Mary Moon, Mary Moon, Mary Moon)
Mary Moon.. She's the one for me, me, yeah

RAH

2007-04-16T01:12:00.000+08:00

jesus, you are enough. you are all i need

no no, i dont need e acceptance of people. i yearn for it, i want it, but having it alone doesn't give me satisfaction. having you does. and i have you. o what a blessing, jesus. what a blessing.

oh jesus, i look to you and you alone. you had e world to reign yet you chose to reign in me. me, when i was still a sinner. you chose me.small me, insignificant me. but no longer. i am a child of god now, loved by the creator himself.

i love u

i dont care la, i really really dont care what the world thinks. i know u love me, thats enough.
really enough.

i dont care. i dont care. i dont care.
i just need u jesus. i just need you.
i refuse to look at what is troubling me. i look to you. you do e giant slaying, i'll just trust in you.. (:

i wont try to look for love on e outside. i know i have you. jesus, protect me from being hurt, i am afraid. hide me under the shelter of your love.. there will i find my peace..

i'll just belive alright jesus?
im tired of doing it on my own. im tired to even try. you lead, you guide. i'll jus follow.

I will – take up my cross
and follow – wherever You lead me
I will – take up my cross
and follow – wherever You go

When You stand
the tall trees and mountains bow
When You speak
the fiercest of oceans are still
and I see
the sinners seek devotion
the lost become chosen
and I fall to my knees

jesus, i fall to my knees. you take over.

resist the devil and he will flee!
i am e child of god.
the devil has NO RIGHT to tell me what i can do or what i cannot do.
beat it, loser, you're not welcomed.
jesus is my victory.

2007-04-12T08:46:00.000+08:00

Freshman Orientation Camp - FOC - free of charge?

lols. lame, fine.
dear oh dear. going for school camp tomorrow.ah, so exciting!! (: (:
cant wait to see the blesings daddy has planned for me!
school's gonna start soon! after my five long months of holiday (of which i worked a grand total of.. 3 days! oh im so proud of myself :D ) im finally going school again! haha

its exciting really. no more dreaded chinese! heehee
im excited that im excited. (im strange, i know. shush.) cos normally, i really really dont like changes. but this time, im really excited, cos i know that i know daddy has given me a future full of his blessings! i know that i will be so so favoured and that i would come out bringing more glory to jesus every single time i overcome my troubles! hallelujah.

ohoh, and im so blessed cos 5 (or 6? ok im not good with numbers) dare grads are also going temasek poly so they'll be going to e camp too! im not gonna be alone!
not that i will be without them arnd cos i have Jesus anyway. haha

anyway.. you know how i know that im going to have a great time in this school?

cos im e apple of His eye. (:

(:
do miss me when im gone! hahaha
and i hope we (dare grads) can leave e camp early on sat so we can rush down for campus. (:

note to jie: i tell you arh..dont you DARE finish all e cheesecakes! rar!

2007-04-09T03:27:00.000+08:00

i got this from bok's multiply. i think its really really awesome..

"i was doing back up for Dare service today, and i just want to share something that pastor Dan said that really caught my heart and moved me to tears. :) it was amazing the way he illustrated the thing.

anyways, FOUR GUYS got saved today!!! :) :) :)

which brought pastor to the point, of explaining to the kids how it's like in heaven when even just ONE soul gets saved.

it's like God's in heaven right, and just picture Him being busy with like, ohwell you know, with like man-ning the earth and all that's in it. you know, blessing people, loving people, looking after the birds and sewing clothes for the lilies of the field and things like that.

not that He could ever get too busy but yah just picture that :)

then, picture like maybe a Campus service, and pastor Chin's giving the alter call, and this one guy raises his hand.

BOOM!

God drops EVERYTHING that He was doing. every single little thing. and that's not all. He literally leaps off the throne and kneels at the edge of heaven (if there's such a thing) and peers down to earth, right down to suntec city tower four level six.

and He gathers all the angels and tells them to stop doing whatever it is that their doing at the moment as well.

"ssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.."

then He smiles, and He turns to all the angels and says, "can you hear that? can you hear the cry of his heart?"

He turns His eyes back down to the guy and smiles and says, "welcome Home."

then He turns back to the angels and yells, "COME ON LET'S PARTYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!"

and all of Heaven erupts in the most violent yet joyful singing and dancing that anyone has ever known :)

:) listen. can you hear the sound of revival? :) :) :)"

moved me to tears.. (:

2007-04-08T22:49:00.001+08:00

im a happy girl! (:

cos i have a heavenly daddy that is so big and strong.
and He loves me so so much.

you know what?
i am worth the life of a King! aint that cool.

anywaayyyy...

A highly sought-after speaker in Africa, Asia, Europe and the Southeast Asian region, Pastor Prince’s sermons are broadcast weekly in Uganda, a nation hungry for the Word of God. Through his conferences in countries such as Malaysia, Indonesia, Thailand, Holland and Norway, he has also impacted many church leaders and ministry servers. Having built and established the leadership and congregation of New Creation Church on the gospel of grace, Pastor Prince is now actively fulfilling the vision that God has given him to spread the good news of the gospel of Christ to the nations.

Pastor Prince has experienced, first hand, the amazing grace of God in his own life. That is why he believes the best of people and in what God can do for them, in them and through them, by His grace. His desire is to help this generation of Christians realise how greatly blessed, highly favoured and deeply loved they are by their Father in heaven, so that they may be blessed to be a blessing.

whoooo!

THATS MY PASTOR!!!!

2007-04-04T20:01:00.000+08:00

wah today shiok arh.
had jamming with e dare grads today. :)
was really awesome.. haha
the p&w when they came over to my house after that was really good too.

we tried watching e pirated dvd of the phantom of the opera. haha.
gt real bored halfway cos we couldnt even see what was going. o well.

i wish i had my cam to take photos! haha

2007-04-02T00:38:00.000+08:00

asher's performance in e gig outside esplanade.
love his voice (:

2007-03-30T01:27:00.000+08:00

i wanted to blog n post all of todays photos but im too lazy.
haha, sorry chess!~

got this for u tho! haha love u babe!

2007-03-27T20:37:00.000+08:00

sigh, had e medical examination today. boring stuff, seriously.
its strange being asked to piss in a bottle. hm, didnt have enough pee for it tho, didnt even fill half the bottle. lols. but the doc said it was alright, so.. ya.

this real long holiday has been a whirl of emotions, none of which im going to bother going into detail with, but its been good. im enjoying it.(the holiday not the emotions) :)

to those who claim that holidays r nothing but drudgery, well, everybody is entitled to their own opinions. but i only worked for 3 days for this 5 mths holiday so that prob paints everything a bright sunny yellow in my case. wahaha.

oh i hate it when my maid cooks fried beehoon. its tastes too good i have to eat at least 2 or more bowls. not helping my waist line. sigh.

my dad is addicted to sudoku.

2007-03-26T02:33:00.000+08:00

damned enrollment package is bloody confusing. bah, submitted the online stuff n threw e rest to my dad.
lol. anyway, got my pay today! hallelujah!
if ur asking for treats, pretend u never saw that. hahaha

thankyou god for so much favour wrkin at e NATAS fair.
met quite alot of friends, nice ppl and all.
(:

singexpress!

its my cam so my face is e biggest. LOL

tsk, so gay.

cute guy. forgot his name, again. hahaha

nica!! :)

ok lazy to upload more pics.

ANYWAY IM SORRY FOR E CHANGE OF BLOG ADDRESS. REALLY.
blogger went kuku n decided that blogs that have adds ending with a dash '-' cnnt be entered into. stupid. oh well. rem to relink!!

OH N MY ONLINE SHOP'S NEW ADD IS http://hislavishedlove.blogspot.com
not much diff, i know. but there shouldnt even be a difference!!! stupid blogger...!
so.ya.
hahaha

2007-03-19T02:15:00.000+08:00

god..
daddy daddy.. i want lots n lots of favour .. you are al mighty god ma hor, bless me with so much favour that people around me will see n will go "wow, the lord is with her."
i want favour when i go bangkok n bargain with e the shop aunties.. i want favour when i start work for the 3days NATAS show.. i want favour when i start school in poly.. papa, surround me with wonderful friends.. and give me favour with the teachers..

i know u love me daddy.. but i do miss your presence sometimes.. i love having u whisper in my ear how much u love me, daddy.
i dont care what ppl say, daddy.. i wanna shout it out that my best friend is my saviour! i wanna shout it out that a king would give his life for me! i want the whole world to see how big and nice n wonderful u are..
papa.. i want my friends to know u.. oh how much i do! but i dont wanna go overboard..im afriad of scaring them away..i pray for wisdom, daddy!
oh n i saw the couple who worked in the pet shop jus outside my school jus now.. but i couldn't rem who they were tho i knew i know them.. i felt so terrible daddy.. but the mind of the righteous is blessed.. and i am the righteousness of god in Christ!
its not about me, its all about jesus..

daddy i want more freedom.. i want a later curfew..
no matter what i will try to honour my parents (by your grace, lord).. but sometimes their requirements r so tiring to follow.. i dno how jiejie survived.. haha
daddy how? u deal with it ok.. i put it in your mighty big hands..

papa..no weapons formed against me shall prosper..i am protected..
daddy.. i dont want to cross the line to liking a guy.. i know im not ready la hor.. daddy i give this to u too. nah! i dont want to think about it.

daddy open my eyes to see how blessed i am :)
i will reign in life! daddy, i want go tioman b4 school starts..
daddy i want go israel again.. daddy i want to go maldives.
money/lack of money isnt my god. you are. and you are BIG! oh you are so very.. very.. BIG!!

daddy bless my online shop! make it prosper k, daddy.. :)
daddy bless jiejie.. cos you are good :)
daddy bless immanuel in e army, let him enjoy it n see you with him all the time..
daddy bless joeys dragonboat thingy..
daddy bless linda's job when she starts work..
daddy bless ali koo.. let her see how big you are..
daddy bless steve.. i dunno what he is going thru but u do..
daddy bless amy.. thankyou for giving me favour with her :)
daddy bless jon.. with lots n lots of favour with the ppl there.
daddy bless grace when she retakes her papers (or something like that..)
daddy bless whoever is reading this post.. cos this blog belongs to the child of the most high! (haha)

thankyou daddy, for loving me :)
BANGKOK SHOPPING HERE I COME...!!

2007-03-15T19:32:00.000+08:00

hello! do link my online shop w/ this:

or u could jus link me in words, lavishedlove

:) :)
thanks..!

2007-03-14T23:14:00.000+08:00

potbless is postponed. again! sobs.
oh wells.

played pool n lan w/ friends today. haha. still dont get whats so fun about lanning anyway (since i kept dying), lols. or maybe chonglik is jus a lousy teacher. haha, i'll prefer to think of it that way. muahaha.

squash was tiring. >_<
but shern says i lost weight! hallelujah, hahaha. :)

oh i wont be around the whole of next week. wanna know why?

dont tell u! wahaha.
but do miss me! :)

AND GO SEE MY ONLINE SHOP.
hahahaha

2007-03-12T15:56:00.001+08:00

2007-03-11T23:58:00.000+08:00

he got saved, hallelujah. thankyou jesus!

haha the online shop is doing quite well.
http://lavishedlove-.blogspot.com

2007-03-11T01:15:00.000+08:00

2007-03-10T22:38:00.001+08:00

u look scary when ur nt happy..

---
check out my online shop :)
http://lavishedlove-.blogspot.com

2007-03-06T15:10:00.000+08:00

GOD'S KID - destined for greatness (:
how nice. haha

anyway, im going Temasek Poly. whoohoo. DIP in Internet and Multimedia Development. sounds kinda strange.. lols. i wonder is it amy or steve's caregrp..
so anyway, praise god la, first choice. (:
haha this morn miss shermaine teo woke me up at 7:30am (bah, i only went to bed 2 hrs before that.) to help me check my JAE posting. considering she had to wake me up to help me check my posting, i didnt have time to be nervous n start wondering which schl i'll go. sweet. haha. so ya thats gd. so far everybody i've heard of is going to the courses they want/like. thankyou Daddy! yay, chessia's going TP. nick is going TP. timothy is also going TP. ethel's going TP. still have who? haha. how exciting.

anway Kialiang's askin me to join his team for a internet design competition. oracle, thinkquest. aiya something liddat. haha he says they need a digital artist.. wahaha.. i know im probably not good enough considering havin no experience, but Daddy is my help. thankyou jesus. (:
the prize is a laptop for each contestant. nice~!

anyway,
i havent been updating much because somehow, i havent had anything to say. i suppose staying at home staring at the computer the whole day does that to people. maybe one day i'll try coming up with a mentally stimulating post. haha. or this brain in my head will rot pretty soon.

anyway, this is the 4th time im saying anyway. haha. this' sad, my english vocab is going down the drain, while my chinese is already in the drain. hahahaha sigh.
oh my mom told me there was an earthquake and there were tremors this morning. and the whole time i was asleep.. haha
I will both lie down in peace, and sleep; for You alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.
Psalm 4:1
and sleep i did..

okie going out to eat with parents. (:

GOD'S KID - destined for greatness.
sweet.

2007-03-04T22:43:00.000+08:00

Daddy, you are love. i love. (:

i am a Christian. Christ is IN me, redeeming me from stress, worries and fears.
i am a pearl of great price.my life is destined,made,designed only for glory, for reigning, for overcoming and for the great things of God.

when i fall, You still believe the best of me. thank god. even when nobodyelse does. even when im a loser in people's eyes. you still believe the best in me. hallelujah.

2nd Tim 2:13
If we are faithless, He remains faithful; He cannot deny Himself.

God never gives up. never.

i will sit still.. and listen to that still small voice. cos lovers dont yell. my Jesus is gentle.

1st Kings 19:11 - 13
Then He said, "Go out, and stand on the mountain before the Lord."
And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind tore into the mountains and broke the rocks in pieces before the Lord,
but the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake,
but the Lord was not in the earthquake; and after the earthquake a fire,
but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a still small voice.
So it was, when Elijah heard it.

what am i?
i am my Daddy's precious child - destined for greatness.
i have christ-identity. my Daddy God is proud of me, and proclaims im His masterpiece. why should i hide?
i am blessed wherever i go. everything i touch shall prosper. i have a big god. i am His. and He is mine. the world can never satisfy me Lord, only You can.
you are my first love. :)

i have joy n peace knowing that i have everlasting righteousness. if my daddy does not impute my sins against me, what right does anybody else have to do so? there is now no condemnation in Christ jesus.
i am loved.

i am more than a conqueror thru Christ, what is there for me to fear? if my god is for me, who can be against me? o lord, i will fight the good fight of faith. i believe that victory is mine and i am standing on victorious ground! my giants will become my bread. nothing can come against me! i will wait with You, Jesus, till all my enemies become my footstool. the Lord is mighty in battle! You will fight my battle. and when the giants are slayed, there will be glory for Jesus. in spite of trouble, nothing will stop the flow of my blessings.
i am loved.

You are my shepherd, and i was the lost sheep. i was the very one you left the 99 to find, how precious i am in Your eyes. i fully depend on you, n i refuse to use self effort. i REFUSE. i shall not lack, cos 2000yrs ago, You died to give me everything i ever need.
for what i want is what i think is the best. but Daddy, what You want is what You KNOW is the best. and i shall wait.. cos all things will work out for MY good.
i am loved.

i will start to use what i have received!
i will wield the sword of the spirit and pray in tongues. fan into flame the gift that is in me.
i know that i dont have to speak in tongues, i GET to, and daddy i am so grateful. :)
i received the mind of Christ and i am not what the world or even what i say i am. i am Yours.
called to reign in this life, where so much favour will be present in my life.
i am loved.

loved. so much love. i am loved by Love Himself.
how not to reign in life?

2007-03-03T21:24:00.000+08:00

got this from multiply.. :)

When i say "i am a Christian"
I'm not shouting "I'm clean living"
I'm not whispering "I was lost"
Now I'm found and forgiven.
When i say "i am a Christian"
I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that i stumble and
need Christ to be my guide.
When i say "i am a Christian"
I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak
and need His strength to carry on.
When i say "i am a Christian"
I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting i have failed
and need God to clean my mess.
When i say "i am a Christian"
I'm not claiming to be perfect,
my flaws are far too visible but,
God believes I am worth it.
When i say "i am a Christian"
i still feel the sting of pain,
i have to share heartaches
so i call upon His name.
When i say "i am a Christian"
I'm not holier than thou,
I'm just a simple sinner
who received God's good grace, somehow.

2007-02-27T22:14:00.001+08:00

dont break it.

2007-02-25T01:12:00.000+08:00

pissy mood.

what fuckin awesome friends.
shitheads.

2007-02-24T00:02:00.000+08:00

Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.

wahhaa. i think that line is funny. :)
anyway, spent the whole day at home today. right infront of this stinkin' computer. i told you im addicted.
sigh.

today..read through most of the photoshop book. interesting stuff (im such a geek, i know)
hallelujah. haha.
oh and i went into the kitchen n did some creative... stuff
took a bowl, threw in chocolate, peanut butter, butter.. melted them. then added cereal n milo powder n wala! superbly sweet fattening food!~
hahaha.
im glad im not an aneroxic health freak or anything. ( i know, aneroxic n health dont match but blah.) to them a balanced diet is what.. a biscuit in each hand?
eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
no use right? haha. its good to eat good food. :D
im kidding

anyway, its friday. (ok a lil over friday)
high achievers hasnt contacted me yet which spells bad news. looks like i gotta look for a job again. shucks. how very tiring.
why should i work now? i mean, after i go school, graduate, i'll be working my whole life. might as well enjoy life now right? right.
someone needs to explain that to my mom.
who once again is complaining about why i keep so much junk on my table. bah, she doesnt seem to understand that junk is what ppl keep for years and throws away a week before they need it.
lols.

cant wait for church service tml. daddy exceed my expectations k. :)

2007-02-21T00:32:00.000+08:00

HAIYA. Just put me into the courses i want la

would really, really like to have this wacom tablet, although it'd probably be an waste because I wouldn't be able to really bring out the best in it.

Still, it's so bloody awesome.
technology is taking over my life.

its strange when guy's mood move from being so damn miserable to sudden extreme happiness. they dont have PMS, so that cant be the reason..
lols

sometimes i wonder who r e ones who considers me as a friend, and not just some dispensable acquaintance.

i must say, i have nthing intellectual/mind provoking/insightful to write about, but hey, it is after all just a blog right?

anyway, i really should be sleeping right now (ok hell with that), but being the geek i am i couldn't resist logging online to check up on stuff. i think im addicted. ... Okay, i know im addicted.

2007-02-17T16:32:00.001+08:00

whoo. CNY is here! hallelujah.
here comes the arrival of HONGBAOS! *ching ching ching!* $$$
wahaha.
the recieving part is awesome.
the confiscation of hongbaos to parents is uh, well, not so awesome?
lol.
here comes the relatives with the "wah, u grew ALOT taller". after 16 yrs of that u would think im a giant or something already. haha.
the "become prettier" part i dont mind la. AMEN AMEN AMEN!

anyway, my hair is RED! just in time for new year. hallelujah. hahaha
its not really extreme la.. haha
wanted highlights actually but they say do a base colour first nicer so, ok lo :)
its free anyway
jealous? heehee.

went for the high achievers interview on thurs. went quite well, i think. favour favour! grace grace! haha. there were quite alot of ppl there for the interview, all very nice ppl. haa.
Daddy bless me with the job k?

2007-02-14T01:06:00.000+08:00

its valentines day!
whoo~
love is in the air..

i've got a date! n its to be a lightbulb. RAR.
haha, im going out with my parents tml. to do some CNY shopping!! :):):)

to all the guys who nvr ask me out:
YOU ARE ALL BLIIINNNNDDDDD!!!!!
HAHAHAHAHA

hallelujah, jesus is my date. <3

god is love.
when i fall, i fall into the hands of my loving daddy.
therefore, i fall in love with Him all over again :)

2007-02-13T01:33:00.001+08:00

okay, gonna enter in the courses now.
DADDY BLESS ME TO GO TO THE BEST COURSE!
hallelujah :):)

1 -	T34 DIPLOMA IN INTERNET & MULTIMEDIA DEVELOPMENT (TEMASEK POLYTECHNIC)	7 -	C84 DIGITAL MEDIA DESIGN (NANYANG POLYTECHNIC)
2 -	N78 DIGITAL VISUAL EFFECTS (NGEE ANN POLYTECHNIC)	8 -	T23 DIPLOMA IN MOVING IMAGES (TEMASEK POLYTECHNIC)
3 -	T21 DIPLOMA IN INTERACTIVE MEDIA DESIGN (TEMASEK POLYTECHNIC)	9 -	N55 MULTIMEDIA & ANIMATION (NGEE ANN POLYTECHNIC)
4 -	S93 CREATIVE MEDIA DESIGN (SINGAPORE POLYTECHNIC)	10 -	S57 DIGITAL MEDIA (SINGAPORE POLYTECHNIC)
5 -	T16 DIPLOMA IN GAME & ENTERTAINMENT TECHNOLOGY (TEMASEK POLYTECHNIC)	11 -	S56 GAMES DESIGN AND DEVELOPMENT (SINGAPORE POLYTECHNIC)
6 -	C70 DIGITAL ENTERTAINMENT TECHNOLOGY (NANYANG POLYTECHNIC)	12 -	R31 DIPLOMA IN INTERACTIVE AND DIGITAL MEDIA (REPUBLIC POLYTECHNIC)

oo i ~~died~~ dyed my hair.
red is e rage im tellin u.

2007-02-11T23:23:00.001+08:00

despite much laziness and proscratination, i have made it past Olvls to my current freedom. HALLELUJAH. alright, got back pretty satisfactory results, now im one step closer to going the course i want (which im still not sure is what.. YET. hallelujah. hahaha).

officially out of chung cheng. whoo. nothing would be like a kickass punch into dear EXprincipal's face, but praise god, im merciful. HAHAHA
jus jkin, im better than that.

darn.. so many poly courses to choose. HEADACHE.
lol, Daddy i jus anyhow whack la.. then You let whatever course that suits me to accept me ok?
hurhur. im so lazy.

hehe, i see my blue notebook - PEACE, Let not your heart be troubled.
okay, daddy. :):)

so far... :

TP -
games n entertainment technology
internet n multimedia development*
interactive media design
moving images
visual communication

SP-
digital media
games design n development
creative media design*

NYP-
digital entertainment technology*
digital media design*

RP-
interactive and digital media

NP-
multimedia n animation
digital visual effects*

*courses i prefer.

whoo.. anybody want to promote their courses? hahaha. i need whatever advice i can get :)
although choosing the wrong path doesn't mean my future is screwed since its promised to be good, but why go thru the trouble. haha

if u survived reading till here, hallelujah.
im sick of thinking of which course to go, so i ripped a quiz off someone's blog. don't groan, its not like im spamming your friendster bulletin board with it or anything. :)

10 REALLY RANDOM THINGS ABOUT ME
01. I don't like meeting new people.
02. I am pretty tolerant, I think.
03. I don't like licorice. hate the damn things.
04. I set high standards for many things, but not everything.
05. I would rather talk to somebody in person than on the phone.
06. I don't like talking on the phone (with some exceptions)
07. I can be quite insecure.
08. I'm terrified of horror movies.
09. I'm absolutely totally so in love with chocolates.
10. I think I'll die if Jesus is not in my life.

9 WAYS TO WIN MY HEART
01. Be taller then me, cute, older, christian, and hopefully angmoh. (but e angmoh part is not necessary if you are REALLY cute)
02. Don't be a know-it-all
03. Know when to shut up.
04. Be honest, always.
05. Responsibility, seriously.
06. Be reasonable. If you cannot be reasonable, I'd be very tempted to slap you around.
07. Talk to me often, but don't smother me with sms-es and phonecalls every hour of the day.
08. Charm me by being extremely witty
09. Love me.

8 THINGS I CARRY/WEAR EVERYDAY
01. Brain.
02. Stomach.
03. Handphone
04. EZ-Link card.
05. Contact lens
06. Tissue paper.
07. Wallet.
08. Clothes.

7 THINGS THAT ANNOY ME
01. Insincerity.
02. Irresponsibility
03. Mahts.
04. Arrogance.
05. Realising my phone died when I'm nowhere near the time of going home.
06. Shrill voices.
07. Chinese girl group singers, etc S.H.E (They're not a 'thing' but they still annoy me).
08. People who stare, like seriously. CHEEKOPEH ARH.

2007-02-09T22:59:00.001+08:00

results:

ENG -A2
COMB H. -A2
GEOG -B3
EMATH -A2
AMATH -B3
SCI -A2
CHI -B3

L1R4 -11
L1R5 -14 (minus 2 CCA pts = 12)

whoo. pretty good.
seemed esp good when i jus took my results cos b4 that million of *ah shit, im gonna flunk* thoughts ran thru my mind, haha
actually, quite ok la.
my classgirls all did damn well
ailin- 7,10
shern- 8,10
sher-9,12
steph-?,12
adelyn-?,12
alicia- 7,9 (whoo! alikoo im super happy for u!)

and im in e last comb sci class. haha
in the natural, if i compare i'll get disappointed, like why my class girls all score so well. why i dun have a single a1? and i'll start to whine. (which would then most likely cause my sis to whack me on the head. owww)
but daddy opened my eyes. at least the worse is only a b3. haha. wanted 10,13 but aiyo, one pt only. one pt might not make a huge diff my future, but Daddy will, and he will make it good :D. my future is blessed! my results make no difference for my life, Daddy has made sure that it will be AWESOME.
haha. my class did well. praise jesus.
and if i think carefully, i would have never expected some of the subjects to score so well.
Comb H. was a shock. A2..my god.. i've hardly every passed it!! and the things i studied for hist.. NOTHING came out.
wah jesus, you really make a difference!
geog also.. i studied on rivers n never come out.. instead some funny sand dunes thingy came out.. but B3. woah.
A for science, never happened.
AND MY CHINESE IMPROVED. hallelujah!!

improvements from prelims. 25 to 14. haha i jumped by11 pts!

satisfied. :):)
THANKYOU DADDY!

2007-02-08T23:52:00.000+08:00

hallelujah.
jesus, all my fears they fade away, when i see You.. :):)

the path of e righteous get brighter n brighter!
i will not fear, i will not worry. daddy you take everything.

JESUS, FOR YOUR GLORY
blessed olvl results!
now somebody agree with me!

2007-02-05T23:47:00.000+08:00

DAMMIT NO
devil, i am NOT under you. there is no open doors to you.
hallelujah.

the battle is fought by the Lord.
Daddy, i cast my worries all to you!
hallelujah, i have victory in life. i am above n not beneath. i will be the head and not the tail.
i see your finished work.
and i am blessed.

in jesus name, no sleepless nights!

RARRRRRRR!!!!!!!

2007-02-05T22:30:00.000+08:00

Release of 2006 GCE O-Level Examination Results
The results of the 2006 Singapore-Cambridge General Certificate of Education Ordinary Level Examination will be released on Friday, 9 February 2007, 2.30pm.

oh shit.

anybody free to eat lunch with me b4 that? haha. i wont be fun company tho, i think i'll be freakin out. lols. but.. company would be really nice. :D

2007-02-05T03:44:00.000+08:00

argh.
its 3:45 am and im still awake.
JESUS HELP.

devil, what right do u have to steal my sleep?!gah.

hallelujah, qinmei got saved :D
ok i do not know how to put how i feel into words.
just.. praise god la.

daddy, help.
open my eyes to see you.
im so blinded now..

2007-02-02T13:50:00.000+08:00

blah.. was reading thru blogs n koped some stuff

Was in the train on the way back yesterday when I overheard a group of caucasians discussing Singapore's education system. Apparently our education system is magnifique because statistics show that blah blah blah(I admit, I forgot what was said But hey, I don't normally eavesdrop). Frankly, having graduated from secondary school I feel more or less qualified, at least to a certain extent, to pass judgement on Singapore's education system. Especially why it's not all it's cracked up to be.

Apparently, Singaporean students produce better results because our standard of education is high. That is to say, or at least, what the Government says, we learn things at an accelerated rate. In actual fact, we don't have much of a choice, really - not until we get to Primary 4(that's when we're ten, go figure out what grade it is yourself), where we're streamed into the EM1, EM2, or the EM3 streams. To cut the story short, if you're in EM1, you're considered smart. If you're in EM3, well, let's just say you're gifted in "other areas". The only difference between EM1 and EM2 though, is whether you're taking an additional Higher Mother Tongue subject. And not to forget the special GEP program that's meant for the child prodigies.

Either way, you're sent along your merry educational route for the next two years, at the end of which you'd be required to take a pretty major exam which decides which Secondary School you would be posted to. Again, you're streamed into the Special, Express and Normal streams. No prizes for guessing which is the academic elite. The Normal stream is again divided into two - Normal(Academic) and Normal(Technical). As the names suggest, Normal(Academic) is for the students who are more academically inclined while Normal(Technical) is for the students who are more practically inclined, e.g. woodwork. Both streams run for a full five years as compared to the four that's run by the Special and Express courses.

Now I don't know about you, but subjecting poor, innocent 12 year olds to such stress is unfathomable. Nothing to worry about? Kids have killed themselves worrying about the damn exam(literally), so there you go. While the exam isn't that important per se(it's only used to gain access to a good secondary school), parents being parents intentionally or perhaps unintentionally stress their children out as they urge their kids to make it to so-and-so elite school. Given that these parents are Singaporean... Oh my(Singaporeans are very well known for their kiasuness).

[Kiasu
(kee-ah-soo)
Hokkien adjective literally meaning, "afraid of losing". A highly pejorative description beloved of Singaporeans. Possibly our defining national characteristic. The nearest English equivalent is "dog in a manger", though even that is pretty mild.
"You went to get a handicapped sticker just to chope a parking space? How kiasu can you get?"]

... And "chope" literally means "reserve". But I digress. Back on topic. You would have thought that after such an exam - and having endured relentless nagging/bribing/death threats from their parents, no less - these kids would be given a break for, oh, ten years. But no, barely two years after they enter their secondary school of choice (or not), they're subjected to yet another streaming, this time determining the number of subjects the student would take for his 'O' levels two/three years later. Now, I wonder, what's with Singapore and streaming? Singaporean children are treated more like foodstuff in a high-quality packaging plant than humans - why else would you want to perform this many "quality checks"?

Fortunately for us, all becomes clear. The Ministry of Education(hereon referred to as MOE) was smart enough to include a really.. Interesting subject. Social Studies. Supposedly the purpose of such a subject is to educate the students about global infrastructure and how countries manage to survive; in reality, Social Studies is merely a thinly veiled source of propaganda intended to brainwash students who study it intensively. Read: Everyone. They've taught us one important thing though; Singapore's only natural resource are her people. And what better what to harvest your resource than by ensuring that what comes out is all cream? "Quality check", lah.

Add another two years and these students are again forced to sit for their GCE 'O' levels. I'm not sure what the standard is outside Singapore, but since Cambridge collaborates with MOE to set most of our papers, I'm guessing it's supposedly tougher since it's filled with the crap "accelerated learning" syllabus. Having just completed that particular exam myself, I have no wish to comment on it's level of difficulty. I don't even want to speculate about the results. So shush. Singapore's education system sucks. And before the authorities throw me into jail for gross misconduct(misrepresenting the country), I must add that other than an absurdly hectic/crammed/retarded education system, Singapore is indeed a lovely place. Oh, and feel free to browse around talkingcock.com for a more satirical view of Singapore. Especially our weird but endeared national language, Singlish. More in the Coxford Dictionary.

And finally... This entry was not meant to be taken seriously. (;

and another.

et another entry about how I think I'll fare badly in my O-levels. Strange, it seems as if nobody is even aware that the release of our results is just around the corner. Maybe they're too busy working. Or maybe I'm worrying too much. Anyway, having tired of worrying about how much I'd get, I've decided to come up with several contingency plans if I don't do well. Yeah, I'm quite a pessimist.

1. Retake the Os - Quite an obvious albeit expensive option. I'd only consider this if... Well, I'd consider this if I don't do well. Which is very likely.

2. Check whether I've got the right cert - I know I'm not stupid. I may not be academically inclined but I can't fall below my expectations, can I? After all, they aren't exactly very demanding expectations... Right? Sigh.

3. Forget about education in Singapore; study overseas - Refer to Contingency Plan No.1 Except that it's probably never going to be considered. Especially since the examination fees for me to resit the Os would be far less than a single plane ticket to Australia/Canada/Switzerland.

4. Forget about conventional education and enrol in an esteemed music school, attempting to master both the drums and the guitar in four years - I'd consider this if I had the cash; maybe several hotels full of hard cash, since I'd probably graduate and end up as a busker for the rest of my life. Not that busking is an unworthy job, just that I don't think I'd be good enough to be a good busker, therefore... being useless. Hence the gargantuan cache of money to fall back on.

5. Appeal to the relevant person(s) in charge of the course I'm interested in - One of the more sensible plans so far, I'd intended to put this one into action the moment I realised my grades weren't going to cut it, but I've just been informed that appeals aren't going to be paid any heed. Therefore, I shall camp at the office and stage a one-man protest, proclaiming the utter injustice of their actions(or inaction, in this case).

6. Complain to whoever'd listen that Singapore's education system is too tough - Of course, if I happened to come across anybody who did well, I'd just have to pretend that they didn't exist. Or grudgingly admit that they have a highly developed brain. Not that I don't, but...

7. Cry - Messy, unglam and ultimately useless, it still manages to serve as a deterrent since it ensures that nobody would approach me to ask me "what's wrong?", thereby reminding me of how I've managed to fuck myself up.

As you can see, I'm very pessimistic. I'm not even going to list Contingency Plan No.8, because although 8 is a lucky number, the Contingency Plan of that number isn't. Why? Because, Contingency Plan No.8 is... *drumroll* Death. No, not really. Hah. Someone save me

2007-02-02T13:25:00.000+08:00

im like tired, you know?
im telling you, exams should be banned! waiting for the return of results is such a nightmare.
quit obsessing, quit obsessing.

i dreamt that i received my results slip which had a nice number of A1s on it. so i woke ready to start jumping for joy when i realized it was just a dream. damn i hate dreams like that.

but.
i prefer it to dreams where i fail everything. sigh.

who cares about sounding positive.
im not ready to get disappointed again.
not once more.

2007-01-31T23:11:00.000+08:00

i really dont want back my results.
scares e hell out of me.
rarr.

2007-01-30T22:22:00.000+08:00

those who are forgiven much, loves much.

Could someone actually be forgiven a debt of millions and be unable to forgive a debt of hundreds? Could a person be set free and then imprison another?

You dont have to be a theologian to answer those questions; you only have to look in the mirror. Who among us has not begged God for mercy on Sunday and the demanded justice on Monday? Who hasn't served as a bottleneck instead of a conduit of God's love? Is there anyone who doesn't , at one time ore the other,"show contempt for the riches of his kindness, tolerance and patience, not realizing that God's kindness leads you towards repentance?"

Is this the way you are coping with your hurts? Are you allowing your hurts to turn into hates? Is so, ask yourself: Is it working? Has your hatred done you any good? Has your resentment brought you any relief, any peace? Has it granted you any joy?

Lets say you get even. Lets say you get him back. Lets say she gets what she deserves. Lets say your fantasy of fury runs it ferocious course and you return all your pain with interest. Imagine yourself standing over the corpse of the one you have hated. Will you now be free?

Notice what God does when we calibrate our compassion. He turns us over to be tortured. Tortured by anger. Choked by bitterness. Consumed by revenge.

Such is the punishment for one who tastes God's grace but refuses to share it.
But for one who tastes God's grace and then gives it to others, the reward is a blessed liberation. The prison door is thrown open, and the prisoner set free is your self.

-the applause of heaven

2007-01-29T11:56:00.000+08:00

watched Gridiron Gang with shengda just now. (which honesty wasn't that bad)

now are the days when usually one just stays at home and lets her brain slowly rot away which is actually, rather sad.
BUT
im not really wasting time :D
i bake! like, i really do! what an accomplishment! the stars must have been perfectly aligned. haha
and im playing squash tml. yes, exercise. its sounds so.... wonderfully exhausting. blah -_-

you know one is bored when one blogs thrice a day and forces down sadly uninteresting posts down dear loyal non-existent readers throats.

:)

2007-01-29T09:10:00.000+08:00

"I think sometimes the greatest things in life shouldn't be analyzed and doubted - maybe it'd be better if we'd just let them work their magic on us while we reap the undeserved benefits - because only then would we truly be happy."

ignorance can be a bliss if you don't insist on knowing everything. curiosity killed the cat (and sent it to heaven) but knowledge brought it back (to living hell).

anyway, i finished my resume. (asher's one has like, so much stuff!)
shucks.
after reading it, it seems like i almost have no recollection of doing such wonderful noble stuff (under community service). resumes are definitely overrated.
hurhur, quite pathetic right.

2007-01-29T02:35:00.000+08:00

i am a new creation!
old things have passed away and all things have become new!
hallelujah. :)

2007-01-27T22:48:00.000+08:00

my chinese standard is falling at the most amazing speed (sigh), and yet im doing nothing about it.
blah, whatever.

haha. jesus is my boyfriend. dont steal!
hehe. boys have cooties :D
this means no more messaging someone on some random topic just to get a conversation going or excessively trying to read in between the lines. which is good since doing that always never fails to me make feel quite like a despo. hurhur. how embarrassing. this post is based on the fact that nobody reads my blog. wahaha.
so anyway, im a child of God man. child of the king = princess. and that means.. boys.. fall to your knees!!! =D
hallelujah. haha

i need to diet, or some exercise! (55kg! im cominnnngggggg!)
playing squash with shern shows something... damn, am I out of shape. must... exercise... more! but haha.. there doesnt seem be enough time, judging by the number of (extremely worthwhile, like slacking in front of the tv with potato chips on one hand) activities I've got planned out.

Stay tuned for more superficial, materialistic, and entirely unengaging posts.

2007-01-27T00:21:00.000+08:00

this is my sister.

no...

actually....

this is.

wahahaa....
ok la its not that bad la. she thinks those pics are funny too =D

hurhurhur...

ok.
die. she's got my unglam photos too =p

hehe.
anybody has a pastor prince sermon on mercy to spare?

2007-01-26T13:05:00.000+08:00

whee. praise god for new blogskins.
haha.
finally! lols.

hm, really like this new blogskin. hehe. although e text box too small for pics.
not bad. i have blogged for two n a half yrs. haha. :)
here r some of my old blogskins. haha. so long ago >_< http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a326/chocolatepiggy/fatlouie.jpg
this one 2 yrs ago. hurhur
http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a326/chocolatepiggy/blogskingrunge.jpg
so dark.
http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a326/chocolatepiggy/blogskinn.jpg
haha. the most colourful so far :)
http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a326/chocolatepiggy/blogskincopy.jpg
and the most recent.

got a few missing la. haha
oh wells.

someday i will post something with substance.
lols.

2007-01-22T20:37:00.000+08:00

Ask Muhammed Ali.

You know Ali, the unprecedented three-time world heavyweight boxing champion. His face has appeared on the cover of Sports Illustrated more times than any other athlete. When he was "floating like a butterfly and stinging like a bee," he was king of his profession. An entourage of reporters, trainers, and support staff tailed this comet as he raced around the world.

But that was yesterday. Where is Muhammed Ali today? Sportswriter Gary Smith went to find out.

Ali escorted Smith to a barn next to his farmhouse. On the floor, leaning against the walls, were mementos of Ali in his prime. Photos and portraits of the champ punching and dancing. Sculpted body. Fist punching the air.

Championship belt held high in triumph. "The thrilla in Manila."

But on the pictures were white streaks-bird droppings. Ali looked into the rafters at the pigeons who had made his gym their home. And then he did something significant. Perhaps it was a gesture of closure. Maybe it was a statement of despair. Whatever the reason, he walked over to the row of pictures and turned them, one by one, toward the wall. He then walked to the door, stared at the countryside, and mumbled something so low that Smith had to ask him to repeat it. Ali did.

"I had the world," he said, "and it wasn't nothin'. Look now."

The pole of power is greasy.

The Roman emperor Charlemagne knew that. An interesting story surrounds the burial of this famous king. Legend has it that he asked to be entombed sitting upright in his throne. He asked that his crown be placed on his head and his scepter in his hand. He requested that the royal cape be draped around his shoulders and an open book be placed in his lap.

That was A.D. 814. Nearly two hundred years later, Emperor Othello determined to see if the burial request had been carried out. He allegedly sent a team of men to open the tomb and make a report. They found the body just as Charlemagne had requested. Only now, nearly two centuries later, the scene was gruesome. The crown was tilted, the mantle moth-eaten, the body disfigured. But open on the skeletal thighs was the book Charlemagne had requested-the Bible. One bony finger pointed to Matthew 16:26 "What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul?"'

You can answer that one.